Lindsey Robertson
Awkward behavior is an inevitability of the human experience. Just think of how many times you’ve looked down and realized that your fly has been open, and you’ll know I’m right.
We make stilted chitchat in the break room, we accidentally say “you too” at the most inopportune moments, we fumble our words and end up wishing someone the “very breast” — we are all pretty much bumbling idiots when it comes to the intricacies of relating to and interacting with one another.
Fortunately, our cringe-worthy behavior usually ends up being pretty entertaining.
Here are some delightfully awkward tweets to remind you that even the most oafish and artless behavior can be fairly hilarious — in hindsight, that is.
1.
PREGNANT CASHIER: Have a great day
ME: Thanks, have a great baby
— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) July 31, 2016
2.
Date – "lets watch a DVD, I've got Ratatouille?"
Me – "no thanks, I haven't seen rataONEille hahaha"
Date – "you know what I'm pretty tired"— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 30, 2016
3.
i was so high that i thought gpa meant grade point average and then i realized she meant her grandpa who is dead pic.twitter.com/Uyw1P9KK3Z
— james (@anuscosgrove) February 21, 2016
4.
i'm great!! i'm good i'm doing good hahaha. i mean "well" haha! haha i'm doing well, not good! haha i'm not doing good! im not doing so good
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) September 2, 2016
5.
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
6.
when i was 7 i had a crush on a girl in my class & didnt know how to deal w it so I wrote her a letter that just said "get out of my school"
— lindsey (@Lindzeta) January 15, 2013
7.
Date: I love dogs
Me: [trying to think of something to impress her] my dad is a dog
— james nielssen (@cool_as_heck) August 11, 2016
8.
[on 1st date]
Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before?
Her: No, I'd love to
Me: Same
Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim— Dean (@daplusk) July 5, 2015
9.
BRUH IM HIGH AF AT WALMART AND FUCKED AROUND AND WENT IN THE WOMENS RESTROOM IVE BEEN TRYNA LEAVE FOR 10 MINS BUT THEY KEEP COMIMG!!!! pic.twitter.com/LO0XkHePJA
— Dev Almxghty (@devALMXGHTY) January 10, 2017
10.
ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me
— the pain respecter (@AbrasiveGhost) April 16, 2016
11.
"I think this chlorine is healing my anal fissure." – Things not to say in a swimming pool. Apparently.
— Summer of Benny (@summerofbenny) July 21, 2012
12.
[making small talk at work]
What do you think about abortion?— moody monday (@mdob11) November 22, 2016
13.
[people in conference room all talking loudly and then a brief moment of silence]
ME: dogs can be astronauts— ally 𝖌𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗 🐊🧑🍳🐕🏳️🌈 (@notacroc) November 16, 2016
14.
I accidentally sent this to my little sisters first grade teacher but I meant sick omg pic.twitter.com/bZVWdSYnaY
— ac ❄️ (@arubaach) September 23, 2016
15.
*someone hands me a baby*
Oh… no thank you
*places baby on the ground*— moody monday (@mdob11) April 25, 2014
16.
as if the school uploaded a pic of me writin with a cheese string pic.twitter.com/t8KPc73pDj
— jonasbrothersfan10 (@garinstone21) January 5, 2017
17.
Sometimes I see an ambulance & wonder if its for me; like I died moments ago & don't know it yet
MY DATE: I meant what do u do for a living
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) November 6, 2016
18.
INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills?
ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) April 1, 2015
19.
HER: You look so nervous.
ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous.
HER: You're sweating.
ME: *just freaking out* That's bravery moisture.— The Stranger Pale Space Rider (@truegritrumble) July 21, 2016
20.
Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like "Abso-fruit-ly!" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know
— Jeff Newton (@yonewt) November 14, 2016
21.
After class my prof asked “Do you have a sec?” & I replied with “I have lots of secs” so now I have to die
— soarin lauren (@LaurenArnold20) October 17, 2017