Mike
I’ve been on twitter for about 6 years now, and it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to find hilarious jokes for this list every week. You’d think I’d run out at some point, but nope. Twitter is a bottomless well of jokes (and lots of other not so great stuff lately) but mostly jokes, and it is my absolute pleasure to bring you this list every week. I assure you it is as much fun for me to make as it is for you to read. So thank you for continuing to visit this, because it means I get to continue putting it together. Please enjoy this week’s roundup, and always remember: retweets mean everything.
15.
Little Caesars: It's hot and it's ready.
Me: Is it good?
Little Caesars: It's HOT. And it's READY.
— [kie.ran] (@danblackroyd) May 15, 2018
14.
https://twitter.com/___leebron/status/996519132114898944
13.
when i’ve got a funny story but i have to wait until my friend finishes talking pic.twitter.com/gkXmtoGAtC
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) May 14, 2018
12.
https://twitter.com/WiredHoney/status/995835794651844608
11.
https://twitter.com/spicythot/status/995189094488526849
10.
https://twitter.com/karentozzi/status/573023441940557824
9.
https://twitter.com/Manglewood/status/518273297650573312
8.
https://twitter.com/fro_vo/status/739658607348744192
7.
ME: *realises I've just stepped on an ant* oh no
JOHN WICK: Has anyone seen my pet ant?
ME: OH NO
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 3, 2018
6.
Superman could have become a doctor, using his x-ray vision to detect life threatening tumors. But no, we really needed another journalist.
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) February 17, 2016
5.
My four year old is watching Toy Story for the first time ever and he just whispered to himself, “Alive toys… I knew it.”
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) February 8, 2018
4.
How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult? It's like, oh you gave birth to me? Please enjoy this fancy candle.
— jess (retired) (@jessokfine) April 28, 2015
3.
https://twitter.com/roxiqt/status/944623784908144640
2.
https://twitter.com/DaddyJew/status/994600025509584896
1.
https://twitter.com/Playing_Dad/status/905589557885898753