Lex
Twitter is a beautiful and magical place where, in 140 characters or less, women are changing the world. Ok fine, maybe not always “changing the world,” but definitely making solid jokes about our boobs.
25.
https://twitter.com/baybaydayday/status/1052918601584431104
24.
How to get a boyfriend as told by a kindergartner:
“well you just get a best friend that’s a boy then you love him so much he turns into your boyfriend! It’s really easy Ms. Lockwood”
— anna (@anna__estelle) October 22, 2018
23.
https://twitter.com/lilacperalta/status/1054771899509719040
22.
Been getting a lot of bread lately. Not money but my carb intake is just unreal
— macklemore🌭 (@macallmaryhew) October 22, 2018
21.
https://twitter.com/emmachamberlain/status/1054448352702619654
20.
more than one stove is a steve
— kim (@KimmyMonte) October 24, 2018
19.
of mice and men be like
____ 🤠_____
/ \
/ / 🐁 \ \
\ \___🤲🏻__/ / 😔
\_______|______ / 🔫(__)✌🏻
👢👢 👢👢— paige (@turnthepge) October 21, 2018
18.
If men are so tough then why do they die
— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) October 21, 2018
17.
Between my nighttime regimen and my morning routine, I'd say applying skincare products is about 18-19 hours of my day.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) October 24, 2018
16.
I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake”
Service: unmatched
— Mi (@remigiomia) October 23, 2018
15.
I made a meme about punctuation pic.twitter.com/2Dy2qGR3D2
— Clare Costello (@cemcostello) October 24, 2018
14.
people say writing is rewriting but i beg to differ and say that writing is, in fact, mostly crying
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) October 25, 2018
13.
Just spent $8 on ice cream that wasn’t very good but I also spent 4 years on a boy who wasn’t very good so I’m used to waste
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) October 22, 2018
12.
https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/1054828718894411777
11.
https://twitter.com/csestajacobs/status/1153537506949730305
10.
https://twitter.com/evepeyser/status/1154456966271574018
9.
https://twitter.com/sophsa/status/1055190375856521216
8.
my therapist: I don’t have an opening until next week
me: I’d like to dye my hair blue
my therapist: see you in five
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 24, 2019
7.
If you watch a movie with me I WILL loudly announce if I see anyone wearing heels at a high school— a thing which has never happened.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 24, 2019
6.
https://twitter.com/maisondecris/status/1055539816513855488
5.
I'm sure the Monster Mash was great but Mary Shelley losing her virginity on her mother's grave is the ultimate graveyard smash
— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) October 23, 2018
4.
https://twitter.com/reginvgeorge/status/1055148634289909765
3.
well his name isn't Cookathome Malone https://t.co/XdFw1Id7Wr
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) October 25, 2018
2.
I’m sorry to anyone who is friends with me pic.twitter.com/07873fF2oo
— roxana melissa (@bawdyrox) July 23, 2019
1.
My mom found out I got my nipples pierced today pic.twitter.com/BCRE1dz68f
— Syd (@Sydney_allenn) October 23, 2018