Mike
Look, I’ve got tweets. You want tweets. Let’s not play cat and mouse here. Come get what you need here every week. I promise you I only bring the best Twitter jokes bouncing around the internet. Why look yourself? My tweet list is all you need.
1.
Finally a juul you can hit together pic.twitter.com/M8F9w3b6cf
— adam.the.creator (@AdamPadilla) February 10, 2019
2.
Alicia Keyes playing two pianos at once and here I am choking on food every time I eat
— #1 samir (@samir) February 11, 2019
3.
Will Smith genie is what appears in my room when I have sleep paralysis pic.twitter.com/NzMDOgvkkz
— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) February 11, 2019
4.
— Seinfeld Current Day (@Seinfeld2000) October 8, 2018
5.
https://twitter.com/melissamcewen/status/1094272277003288576
6.
https://twitter.com/arielle_skyler/status/1093883841515798528
7.
feel very anxious about this toilet pic.twitter.com/ksWWXXoXZD
— David Farrier (@davidfarrier) February 9, 2019
8.
https://twitter.com/michellenguyn/status/1093611977996304384
9.
https://twitter.com/rudy_mustang/status/987005582271025152
10.
https://twitter.com/wendydheard/status/1093377337276588032
11.
https://twitter.com/aIecrl/status/1093370235191648256
12.
https://twitter.com/jade_croghan/status/1085570260869279745
13.
https://twitter.com/AdamMKuhn/status/1093254525874515973
14.
I would let Marie Kondo reorganize the organs in my body
— Adam Rippon (@AdamRippon) February 6, 2019
15.
satan: I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF H-
me: wow you’re tall
satan: thanks?
me: how tall are you?
satan: i dunno like 6’6”, 6’11” with the horns?
me: [twirling hair] omg “with horns”! you are SO funny
— Skoog (@Skoog) February 6, 2019
16.
probably the water https://t.co/sT2RJBVI9M
— jake, (@callmeshitto) February 7, 2019
17.
https://twitter.com/lmaoedina/status/1092872011146252288
18.
https://twitter.com/ncecire/status/988064359531327489
19.
Your password must be between 732 and 942 characters. It cannot be the same as any word in any known language. It must include 3 hieroglyphs, ancient Babylonian text and the solution to Fermat's last theorem.
— Ben White (@EconomyBen) February 7, 2019
20.
I’m getting a lil bit too expensive for myself lately
— Rumbi Tauro (@rumbitauro) February 2, 2019
21.
https://twitter.com/princessbaesy/status/1092582517952004096
22.
https://twitter.com/alanna/status/1093549700274421760
23.
https://twitter.com/ellhaworth/status/1091716684354895872
24.
this hotel kindly invites me to decide whether I am BODYGUARD or VAMPIRE pic.twitter.com/9VediAqR3j
— Jennifer Cownie (@cownifer) February 5, 2019
25.
my girlfriend fell asleep and me n the dog jus been talkin… pic.twitter.com/ZDqsx69syb
— af ter noon (@s4m002) February 6, 2019