You don’t have to be drunk to enjoy these funny tweets, but I can tell you from experience it doesn’t hurt. Twitter jokes are great no matter what state of mind you’re in, I’m just saying why not chase these posts down with something equally fun?
Love that Steph is wearing the same style jacket as the one he had on at all-star 1992 pic.twitter.com/jpwACyJbdL
— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) February 17, 2019
When you’re on a roller coaster and you know the camera is coming up pic.twitter.com/6eqjK4yp4F
— Dalys (@dalysluna) February 10, 2019
Guy in the pickup honking, yelling at woman to move out of the street. She yells back "my dog is shitting, wait a minute!"
I ❤️ NY pic.twitter.com/v6b1muDvUR
— Jason Rabinowitz (@AirlineFlyer) February 14, 2019
Me on deadline: I’m fucking miserable and in pain I hate writing I wanna die. I’m going to become a plumber.
Me 2 min after handing in a draft: I love my craft. There is no greater or nobler joy than artfully constructing the written word. What a pleasure to write for a living.
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) February 14, 2019
*battlefield turns into a giant orgy*
Cupid: sorry sorry, these are the only type of arrows I have
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) March 5, 2018
Folding table: *exists*
Frat guy off two mikes hard lemonades: pic.twitter.com/299uETWZFM
— Malik (@Charcoal_life) February 12, 2019
— temperature-seanpaul.mp3 (@imbackbitches97) February 11, 2019
Astrology Girls will straight up hit you with their car and say “whoops lol, it’s because I’m a caprisun”
— ClifSosa (@ClifSosa) February 11, 2019
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) December 12, 2013