You don’t have to be drunk to enjoy these funny tweets, but I can tell you from experience it doesn’t hurt. Twitter jokes are great no matter what state of mind you’re in, I’m just saying why not chase these posts down with something equally fun?
1.
Love that Steph is wearing the same style jacket as the one he had on at all-star 1992 pic.twitter.com/jpwACyJbdL
— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) February 17, 2019
2.
NO BIG DEAL KENNY G IN MY LIVING ROOM!!! Happy Valentines Day 💋💋💋 pic.twitter.com/wuDp8VgGaj
— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) February 16, 2019
3.
So my cousin and his wife got an email from their sons teacher. He didn’t do his hw so she asked him to write a paper saying why he didn’t do his hw and this is what she got…😂🤦🏼♀️ pic.twitter.com/2eDh2IgB9X
— Lydia (@_Lyddz) February 14, 2019
4.
When you’re on a roller coaster and you know the camera is coming up pic.twitter.com/6eqjK4yp4F
— Dalys (@dalysluna) February 10, 2019
5.
When u lying and gotta be dramatic 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/owUrJ90zvB
— Long Money Lito (@YoungLito) February 14, 2019
6.
Guy in the pickup honking, yelling at woman to move out of the street. She yells back "my dog is shitting, wait a minute!"
I ❤️ NY pic.twitter.com/v6b1muDvUR
— Jason Rabinowitz (@AirlineFlyer) February 14, 2019
7.
my mom: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner
doctors: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner
my friends: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner
the news: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinnerme: okay so what im hearing is dunch (dinner lunch) & then a second, darker dinner
— hugo (@terribletide) February 13, 2019
8.
Me on deadline: I’m fucking miserable and in pain I hate writing I wanna die. I’m going to become a plumber.
Me 2 min after handing in a draft: I love my craft. There is no greater or nobler joy than artfully constructing the written word. What a pleasure to write for a living.
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) February 14, 2019
9.
So coworker received some flowers this morning from a random person, She told her man about it and her man acted quick 😂 pic.twitter.com/DjaRwgAzis
— Abby (@ayee_abby) February 13, 2019
10.
*battlefield turns into a giant orgy*
Cupid: sorry sorry, these are the only type of arrows I have
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) March 5, 2018
11.
Folding table: *exists*
Frat guy off two mikes hard lemonades: pic.twitter.com/299uETWZFM
— Malique (@Charcoal_life) February 12, 2019
12.
— spicy water (@imbackbitches97) February 11, 2019
13.
One of the kids at my job wrote me a nice lil letter 🙂 pic.twitter.com/5Zu7mOCqZP
— Don’t Run (@Walkerveli) February 12, 2019
14.
Astrology Girls will straight up hit you with their car and say “whoops lol, it’s because I’m a caprisun”
— ClifSosa (@ClifSosa) February 11, 2019
15.
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
— Cohen is a Ghost (@skullmandible) December 12, 2013