Mike
Kids really do say the darndest things. They haven’t yet had their point of view molded by society, so their minds are free to see life in a way we can’t even wrap our heads around anymore. Sure is fun to be around though.
These hilarious kids used their unjaded minds to come up with new names for everyday objects, and honestly, I think these names are way better.
1.
A friend's 5 yr old saw a rhino and called it a "Battle Unicorn". Can we let 5 yr olds christen new species please?
— Zoe's Zoo (@ZoesZooYouTube) May 30, 2018
2.
My kid just called Fruit Loops "Pride Cheerios" and I've never been happier in my life that this little dude calls me mom.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) September 5, 2018
3.
I'm not saying that my daughter is overly dramatic.
I'm just reminding you that she calls tears "wet drops of sad."— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 29, 2016
4.
2yo referred to her coat pockets as "snack holes" and this is what I shall forever call them
— Rebecca Caprara (@RebeccaCaprara) February 23, 2018
5.
My 4-year-old called ice cubes "water bricks," and now I'll never call them anything else.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 26, 2018
6.
My 4 year old daughter calls penguins "cold owls"
— ( ﾟдﾟ) (@jess2780) June 4, 2018
7.
My three year old decided escalators are called “robot stairs,” and so it has been decreed in our house.
— Hunter Campbell (@HunterCampbell) May 31, 2018
8.
My daughter doesn’t know the word “braces” so she calls them “tiny jails for your teeth.”
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 12, 2018
9.
My two year old son calls beards/facial hair “face grass”. It started like a year ago and we can’t bring ourselves to correct him.
— Janna (@janna_rpw) May 31, 2018
10.
When my daughter was little she called her memory her remembery. It will always be that to us.
— Isabel Jordan (@seastarbatita) May 30, 2018
11.
My daughter still calls sneezing "bless yous" and I will destroy anyone that ruins this for me.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 1, 2017
12.
"I have cow-like reflexes."
My 9 year old either made an error in phrasing and meant to say cat or he is extremely self-aware.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) October 31, 2013
13.
My friend’s 5-year-old just saw a crow and called it a “Halloween eagle.”
And a child shall lead us. It is known. This is the new name for the bird-formally-known-as-crow. You know what to do, @MerriamWebster.
— Tessa Dare (@TessaDare) May 30, 2018
14.
5-Year-Old: HEY! WHERE ARE MY MATTRESS CURTAINS!?
Me: Um… your sheets? I’m washing them.
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) September 4, 2018
15.
16.
my son just called a coffin a “skeleton burrito” and somehow I’m the one on twitter
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) February 7, 2019
17.
My daughter calls roots "tree veins" and honestly I think we should just allow her to name everything for us all from this point forward.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) April 24, 2016
18.
My 2-year-old called the vehicle for sick people a "wee woo truck" and now I don't even remember what the right name is anymore.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2017
19.
Little kids may wake up too early but at least my five-year-old daughter calls the airport the airplane store.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 7, 2014
20.
When my daughter was a toddler she pointed to the back of her knee and told me she had a bug bite on her leg pit.😂 Then my son,(8 yrs younger), as a toddler learning how to scrub up asked "Do I scrub my leg pits too?" I think it's funny that they both called it the same thing.
— C (@hotwirefences) May 30, 2018
21.
My kid calls prune juice 'poop juice' (suitable) and wine or beer 'mama juice' (also suitable).
— Lívia Labate (@livlab) May 31, 2018
22.
For my daughter, elevators were "uppy rooms".
— Teri Bloom (@tanderny) May 30, 2018
23.
Watched Great Pumpkin special with my son yesterday and he LOST HIS F**KING MIND FOR SNOOPY.
He calls him "SNOOFY."
NO ONE CORRECT HIM EVER— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) October 30, 2017
24.
My 3-year-old calls bubble gum "gubble bum" and I say a little prayer every day that no one ever corrects her.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 4, 2017
25.
When my nephew was small he referred to pizza crusts as "pizza bones".
— Army (@Skorpeo) May 30, 2018
26.
My 4-year-old just called the garbage disposal switch a “gobble button” and that is what I will henceforth be calling it.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 22, 2018
27.
My son calls squirrels "kangaroos" and I have no intention of correcting him.#Dadlife #Parenting
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) October 25, 2018
h/t BoredPanda