Mike
Americans are a bit of a mystery to the rest of the world. The basic stereotypes are that we all carry guns, either weigh 400 lbs or are models, and all live in New York, California, or Texas. However, there are some other rumors floating around that I honestly have no idea where they could’ve possibly originated.
I don’t take it personally that the rest of the world doesn’t know much about us other than what’s portrayed in television and movies. I mean, most Americans can’t point out a country other than Canada or Mexico on a map. The following rumors though, need to be nipped in the bud before they grow.
1. We most certainly do not. That doesn’t even make sense.
just found out americans call connect 4 vertical checkers!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?
— Chack Buss (@abbymactaggart) February 11, 2019
2. I actually kind of like this, but I’ve never heard this. I’m guessing this was a one-off dad joke.
Just found out Americans call coasters "mug rugs" and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
— Emma (@Orange_Emz) February 22, 2019
3. I hope this isn’t real, because no one has ever given me a spooky basket and that bums me out.
I just found out americans give eachother ‘spooky baskets’ how extra and stupid, someone give me one
— niamh (@niamhworkman) October 19, 2018
4. In this country, it’s plastic lawn flamingos or bust.
Just found out Americans call garden gnomes LAWN DWARVES ! Brilliant! Come and get your lawn dwarves at paint pots# I love all dwarves
— Paint Pots Brighton (@PaintPotsBN1) September 30, 2014
5. The last person to use this phrase died in 1934. Next question.
Do Americans really say "Can I use your powder room?"
— NHTKJ94 (@iiGroPamer) April 16, 2019
6. I’ve never heard this in my life, and if I ever do I will consider it assault.
Just discovered Americans called soft boiled eggs ‘drippy eggs’ and had a full body shudder of horror
— Miss South (@misssouthfood) March 5, 2017
7. No one has been to a rave since 2001. We go to music festivals like adults and trade chlamydia.
oh my god I’ve just found out Americans take beaded fucking bracelets to raves n trade them with each other???
— j420 (@abbierichardsnn) February 16, 2019
8. Look at us. Do you really think there’s anything we aren’t eating?
i've just heard that americans don't eat pumpkin… is this true? how deprived omg
— 𝐥𝐨𝐮 (@louisameg) March 5, 2017
9. Ok, while we are the fattest country, everyone knows you only think you want pancakes until you’re halfway into one pancake and feel like you’re going to explode.
I used to think americans just like ate pancakes 4 breakfast and had constant access 2 pancakes
— ٰ (@riverjudes) May 8, 2015
10. Americans ARE gross, but definitely not for this reason.
when i was like 13 i used to think americans were gross for randomly saying ‘period’ in sentences bc i thought they were literally referencing periods
— mya (@1980smya) March 31, 2019
11. Ok, this one is true. We deep fry sticks of butter at carnivals. But to be fair, carnival folk aren’t really considered Americans, or even people.
Do people (more specifically Americans) actually eat sticks of butter? MiNd bLoWn
— Ashlea Trueman (@OrionM42_) April 26, 2018
12. Yesterday a homeless man threw a ziplock bag of pee at me. Does that count?
do americans actually greet complete strangers on the street
— barn knee (@wlackbell) March 11, 2019
13. We’re all on almond milk now.
Do Americans actually eat cereal with water???
— Jack Ball (@jackbaaall) March 13, 2019
14. I’ve done this several times but I don’t think it’s an American thing, it’s more of an asshole thing.
Do Americans really say “I quit” and just walk out of jobs I need to know.
— Cry Baby Weenie (@KiwiiEQ) February 16, 2019
15. I’d say 50% of us don’t even know all of the words.
do americans actually listen to the national anthem every day
— linn (@quicksiiIver) March 19, 2019
16. No, but the “thatsa spicy meat-a-ball” one is true.
Do Italian Americans really say "whatsa matter with you" so often?
— GOOKO (@G00K0) January 21, 2014
17. Lady, we don’t even drink water.
I'll never forget the day someone told me Americans pronounce water as "wooter"
— NEOCITY MAY17 (@neobngtan) August 19, 2018
18. That sounds French. You might be thinking of Canada.
Just found out Americans call napkins 'serviettes'. Mind. Blown.
— Bobby Ree (@bobbyplaysdrums) February 18, 2013
19. I’m afraid this is true, but most of us look down on these people. They’re the same folks who clap when the plane lands.
Is it true that Americans stand up and clap at a film after going to the cinema?
— Charlie (@vibrantvelez) April 20, 2018
20. Not even sure what to do with this one. No, dude. No.
is it true that americans classify rabbits as birds?
— marlon Ⓥ (@marlonddriver) March 19, 2019
21. The only things we call French here are fries, kissing, and French Stewart.
https://twitter.com/gseery777/status/610038578752544768
22. This is true in some parts of the country, but thankfully I was spared. I can still rock out some “hot cross buns” on the recorder though.
i just found out americans had to learn how to fucking square dance in grade school what in the world-
— alina (@loversinfilm) November 19, 2018
23. This isn’t a thing, and how would this come up enough that we’d need an acronym for it?
Btw found out some Americans use Slag meaning Screams Like A Girl as an insult to guys. Quite amusing no?
— Sir Guy of Guisborne (Jumpstyleee) (@SirGuyGuisborne) November 23, 2011
24. Again with the butter. No. Most of us just get drunk on a boat or blow shit up.
Australians think that Americans eat "freedom sticks" on the Fourth of July… Aka fried butter
— April Ludgate (@Tay_Shu) July 5, 2016