Mike
Twitter brought the funny tweet heat this week and I’ve got the evidence to prove it.
Thank god for jokes because everything else seems to be terrible.
1.
https://twitter.com/FeralCrone/status/524512817735794688
2.
https://twitter.com/megan__coe/status/1121131796673040388
3.
A REAL CONVERSATION I HEARD BETWEEN TWO GROWN MEN AT TIRES PLUS:
Man #1: *getting ready to pay* Is it a swipey swipe
Man #2: No it’s a chippy chip
— Madison (@madisonbosil) April 21, 2019
4.
me during morning shift: ay who the FUCK closed last night
me closing at night: this looks like a problem for the opener
— Neek (@babyltaly) April 18, 2019
5.
6.
My dad bought his laptop from a teen and refuses to remove the stickers pic.twitter.com/36bbmZgOsB
— Louis Keene (@thislouis) April 22, 2019
7.
8.
Nobody:
Absolutely no one:
Not a single soul on this Earth:
Not even their mom:
iNfLuEnCeR: “A lot of you have asked about my skin care routine…”
— cope (@cdcxpe) April 16, 2019
9.
My favorite part of the internet is when a millionaire tries to sell you a course that teaches you how to be happy without money
— Tank.Sinatra (@GeorgeResch) April 19, 2019
10.
How does a person not know what they want at a Starbucks in the year of our Lord two thousand and nineteen? 🧐
— Chris “Law Dork” Geidner (@chrisgeidner) April 17, 2019
11.
My daughter just asked me if the word encyclopedia comes from the word Wikipedia.
— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) April 17, 2019
12.
Hallelujah is such a beautiful song. I still remember the first time I heard it, in the soundtrack to Shrek
— sean maciel (@seanmaciel) April 16, 2019
13.
I'm glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) March 23, 2015
14.
[getting a call from my dad]
dad: hey son. wanted to let you know that grandma fell while buying the ingredients for her famous chocolate cake and she’s not gonna make it
me: oh no
dad: yeah i’ll be making it instead
me: oh i thought you meant-
dad: because she’s dead
— royse (@Roysenotes) February 18, 2019
15.
https://twitter.com/GabrielaJuneTC/status/1115274331662237696
h/t: RuinMyWeek