Mike
Happy Friday! Here are all of the tweets I simply could not let you miss this week.
Share them with your friends. RT them to your followers. Print them out and rub them all over your naked body. It’s a free country!
1. Ok, yeah, this first one is my tweet, but this guy is the star of the show.
This is the funniest thing I’ve watched all year. pic.twitter.com/YSf4JyEGbV
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) August 14, 2019
2.
scientists have confirmed the discovery of a fifth loko
— Dr Respect (@reiyashi) August 14, 2019
3.
unions are for pussies. only pussies stand up for themselves. real tough guys just do whatever they're told. you heard it here first, from me, your boss.
— california hunktears (@hunktears) August 13, 2019
4.
I'm sorry but I made this pic.twitter.com/uW8n7NxnTZ
— Zac Gorman (@zacgormania) August 10, 2019
5.
chipmunks are legally classified as vermin which means alvin and the chipmunks can be killed with no legal consequences
— ▲goth owl▼ (@cosmic_dia) August 9, 2019
6.
RIP BRO pic.twitter.com/bd9dQxZ3NB
— 3li 101 (@3liAlra) August 13, 2019
7.
math teacher: you currently have a 55% in this class and you need at least 60% to pass
me: is there anything i can do to raise my grade?
math teacher: if you do this one assignment, i'll give you 10% extra credit
me:
math teacher:
me: i don't- is that going to be enough
— the hypo (@TheHyyyype) August 15, 2019
8.
white claw: “only 100 calories and 5% ABV hehe girls night!”
four loko seltzer: “14% who’s ready to die”
— Benjamin A. Vorwerk (@bvorwerk) August 14, 2019
9.
they should combine all the reality shows so that like when u win Masterchef u go on the Bachelorette and if u win the Bachelorette u get married and then u go on House Hunters and get a house and then u go on Divorce Court
— average joe (@jazz_inmypants) August 15, 2019
10.
This requires no words. It's perfect. pic.twitter.com/jKgQnsNc7Z
— GenXmuse (@LCbasecamp) August 14, 2019
11.
This is the Twitter content I’m here for… 💪🏀🛑😏😂 https://t.co/cpr46ql6A5
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 9, 2019
12.
I swear to God if we dig up this chest and the treasure is the friends we made along the way again I’m going to be fucking furious.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 4, 2019
13.
Schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp https://t.co/94s7lw7XJQ
— Mynaras (@Mynaras) August 12, 2019
14.
me *driving past the apocalypse*: Horses
— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) June 14, 2019
15.
Why can’t this guy be the witness for everything
— Andy Swan (@AndySwan) August 10, 2019