As both arbiters of what’s funny on the Internet and shitty businessmen, we at Pleated-Jeans have taken it upon ourselves to give the new Between Two Ferns: The Movie movie free press in the form of ranking our favorite Between Two Ferns interviews throughout the years. You’re welcome Netflix.
In case you’re unfamiliar, Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis is a fake talk show hosted by comedian Zach Galifianakis which features celebrity guests. Originally produced by Scott Aukerman for FunnyorDie, BTF episodes last several minutes, during which the Galifianakis’s character trades barbs and insults with guests.
Netflix has already released two videos from the movie — extended interviews with Paul Rudd and Benedict Cumberbatch.
Here are the best Between Two Ferns interviews, in indisputable order:
17. Hillary Clinton
Following in the footsteps of Barak Obama, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton sat down with Zach for what could have been the funniest of all BTF episodes. Sadly, the results of the election kind of put a damper on finding this one super funny in perpetuity.
Funniest line: “How does Obama like his coffee? Like himself… Weak?”
16. Ben Stiller
Ben Stiller is one of the most prolific comedic voices of our generation, but that didn’t stop Zach from taking him down a peg right off the bat. I thought he took it pretty well.
Funniest line: “Are you making fun of the South? Because they don’t like that down there, and they’re stupid enough to go to your fucking movies.”
15. Steve Carell
Almost everyone has watched the Office, so I don’t need to tell you who Steve Carell is.
Like so many of these interviews, it quickly turns hostile when Carell comes in guns blazing and attacks Zach before he can get an insult out.
Funniest line: I heard your last name used to be longer but you ate all of the other letters of the alphabet.
14. Justin Bieber
Keep in mind, this is 2013 Bieber. In full public meltdown mode. Right around the time he said Anne Frank would’ve been a Belieber and uploaded a video of himself pissing into a bucket. Yeah, it came up.
Funniest line: Do you ever get in the recording studio and think, “Hey, what if I didn’t make something shitty?”
13. Barack Obama
You know, Michelle Obama’s husband.
This made me nostalgic for when we had a president who knew more than 15 words. And if you love Trump and that comment made you mad, I’m sorry. I’ll be putting out a post of the top 10 coloring books next week just for you.
Funniest line: “What’s it like being the last black president?”
12. Natalie Portman
Natalie Portman is a brilliant actress who is also well known for her comedic chops. However, I don’t think she quite knew what she was walking into. It gets…awkward.
Funniest line: “You shaved your head for V For Vendetta, did you also shave your V for vagina?”
11. Bruce Willis
In yet another painfully awkward interview, the stoic Bruce Willis gives him nothing. He just sits there looking like he’s going to punch Zach in the face.
Funniest line: “Where do you keep your Oscar…I mean your *checks notes* Blockbuster Entertainment Award?”
10. Conan O’Brien & Andy Richter
Zach and Andy team up to take Conan down a peg. Little did they know Conan would soon lose The Tonight Show and be taken down several more. Andy Dick makes an appearance at the end you’ll not want to miss.
Funniest line: “When you go home at night and you watch yourself, do you…touch it?”
9. Seinfeld & Cardi B
Like most of Zach’s guests, Seinfeld doesn’t seem to like him very much. Zach complains to a producer off-camera that Jerry isn’t a relevant guest, then brings out Cardi B to replace him.
Funniest line: “Cardi B, this is Jerry J.” “Wait what’s the J for?” “Jew.”
8. Michael Cera
If there’s anyone more awkward than Zach, it’s Michael Cera. This interview made me take a break for a few minutes. It’s hilarious, but goddamn is it awkward.
Funniest line: “Did I ever tell you I loved the movie Superbad?” “No.” “Good.”
7. Charlize Theron
In an interview bubbling over with sexual tension, Zach tries to remain professional while Charlize not so subtly flirts with him. But in true B2F fashion, it doesn’t end well.
Funniest line: Honestly, I couldn’t pick one. This whole thing is art.
6. Bradley Cooper
This interview was filmed when The Hangover movies were at the height of their popularity. Bradley and Zach had gotten close while filming, so he thought he was walking into a friendly interview. He was not.
Funniest line: “You’re on the cover of Detail Magazine, which is a great publication if you’ve run out of cologne.”
5. Jon Hamm
Jon Hamm had just burst into the mainstream as the star of Mad Men, but Zach didn’t seem to be impressed. In fact, Zach seems a little upset. What else is new?
Funniest line: [Zach has a sneezing fit in Jon Hamm’s crotch] “Sorry, I’m allergic to ferns.”
4. James Franco
The juxtaposition of the very cool James Franco with the dorkiness of Zach makes for a great interview that eventually just turns into a Lonely Island video, which is much better than the actual interview.
Funniest line: “Your face resembles James Dean’s, is it safe to say your sausage resembles Jimmy Dean’s?”
3. Jennifer Lawrence & More / Oscar Buzz Edition
Jennifer Lawrence, Naomi Watts, Christoph Waltz, Anne Hathaway, and Amy Adams. What do they all have in common? They were nominated for Oscars and they hate Zach’s guts now.
Funniest line: “You were in the Hunger Games.” “Isn’t that your life story?” “You shouldn’t say that. That’s offputting.” “You should be off pudding. Get it? Because you’re fat.”
2. Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt sits down with Zac to discuss his movie Fury, his relationship with Angelina Jolie, and some other shit. I don’t know, man, I couldn’t focus after they kept swa[pping a piece of gum back and forth.
Funniest line: “How old were you when you lost your virginity? Zero?”
1. Will Ferrell
Owner of Funny or Die, Will Ferrell stops by to talk about, well, nothing. It’s almost a 5-minute interview and they don’t really talk about anything. They just sit there being assholes. It’s great.
Funniest line: “GET THE FAT OUT OF YOUR EARS!” “I’M NOT THAT FAT! I LOST 9 POUNDS!” *Zach’s chair breaks, then Will’s chair breaks*