Mike
Each week I’ll be bringing you an account we admire. There are still folks out there creating great original content, and they deserve to be showcased.
If you’re a fan of weird twitter, you’ll love @rad_milk. He’s just weird enough that his tweets are hilarious, but not so weird only a handful of people get it. He’s one of the best at what he does.
1.
why is “Fuck” the stock cuss word to tell people to do to themselves. why not shit. go shit yourself sounds way more better and demeaning
— everett byram (@rad_milk) October 28, 2019
2.
XP [•••••••••••••——]
783/1000you gained 217 experiece points
XP [•••••••••••••••••]
1000/1000you have leveled up from MOMS BOYFRIEND to NEW STEPDAD
— everett byram (@rad_milk) August 22, 2019
3.
thinking about spelling porno like “porneaux” to sound fancier. like get this: i’m jaquing off to porneaux
— everett byram (@rad_milk) January 21, 2019
4.
in a time not too far from now somebody’s gonna feel sentimental about finding the fidget spinner that belonged to their grandpa who died from vaping
— everett byram (@rad_milk) October 15, 2019
5.
if i can’t wear my karate gi (空手衣) at my wedding then i’m not getting married. my uncle got to wear his army uniform at his wedding, this is no different
— everett byram (@rad_milk) September 17, 2019
6.
WEED CLERK: would you like an indica or a sativa
ME: uhhh (trying to remember the word Hybrid) lemme get the uhh non binary— everett byram (@rad_milk) June 7, 2019
7.
if you wear glasses you have to cuss a lot so people know you aren’t a nerd
— everett byram (@rad_milk) August 30, 2018
8.
adding another stick figure decal on the back window of the family minivan for my wife’s new boyfriend
— everett byram (@rad_milk) August 29, 2019
9.
on one hand eating an entire sleeve of girl scout cookies for lunch is probably unhealthy, but on the other hand, you gotta support the troops
— everett byram (@rad_milk) January 5, 2018
10.
i wanna live completely off the grid, drawing my own porn and inventing my own cuss words
— everett byram (@rad_milk) December 29, 2018
11.
horses are one of the only known mammals to have their own type of radish
— everett byram (@rad_milk) July 6, 2018
12.
earlier i identified something as Goals but upon further ivestigation i realized it was actually a Mood. and for this, i apologize
— everett byram (@rad_milk) July 7, 2019
13.
i have nipples for literally no reason. this is fucking stupid. can’t even nourish my bros
— everett byram (@rad_milk) June 26, 2019
14.
memoirs in like 2050:
i remember the last thing my papaw said to me before he left for the iran war. “never stan somebody who posts cringe” and then he went overseas to eat ass— everett byram (@rad_milk) June 25, 2019
15.
[2068 AD]
DAD: son last night your grandmother was canceled
SON: nana took an L???
DAD: click hear to pay $4.99 to view funeral without ads— everett byram (@rad_milk) October 15, 2018