“Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.” – Ian Malcolm
There’s no denying whoever made these things is insane. However, oftentimes there are sparks of brilliance mixed in with the insane. Van Gough, Hemmingway, Tom Green, etc…
These objects probably don’t need to exist, but you know what, I’m glad they do. Carry on, you beautiful weirdos.
1. $10K worth of diamonds on a $10 watch. Of course.
2. Extra seats for those friends you don’t have.
3. The worst part is someone out there is jerking off to this.
4. Two in the pink, hole-in-one in the stink.
5. “The sky is falling!!!” *asteroid hits*
6. Little Old Lady Who Lives In A Shoe gets an upgrade.
7. I’m upset.
8. You’re right. The wheel was a stupid invention.
9. How about a little prick?
10. From crushing red Solo cups in college to a job that crushes your soul in the real world.
11. Get in, loser, we’re going to Narnia.
12. Finally, I can practice kissing in public without being harassed.
13. For when you need to haul that brick to the construction site.
14. Feels like you’re taking a dump in Studio 54.
15. Rose quartz furniture set I’d love to see in a vegan restaurant.
16. Well, this is just art. Plain and simple.
17. This too. Nothing wrong here.
18. Not this. And you know it’s being worn with socks.
19. Damnit, Bobby.
20. Died while texting and driving.
21. It really ties the room together.
22. Only for daddy birds.
23. The Hamburglar’s cousin who only steals antique typewriters.
Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome