Mike
Congratulations on making it to another Friday. Your reward? Some really great tweets and two days off to pretend like that is enough time to justify working another five in a row doing something you hate. Yay!
1.
This is the ideal male body. You may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like. pic.twitter.com/HLDijoe2Wp
— ✨♥️gini wijnaldum stan account♥️✨ (@workisafuck) December 18, 2019
2.
My friend’s pug went to the vet pic.twitter.com/kP4r5o4ZOQ
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) December 17, 2019
3.
how many miles do you think we’ve all scrolled this year
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) December 17, 2019
4.
Bought a brand new Benz at age 21🥳
Always strive and work hard for what you want. Can’t ever hate on me until you walk a mile in my shoes 😤 pic.twitter.com/zlnxq2L6qO— Brandon (@Brandon225__) December 15, 2019
5.
When my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been pic.twitter.com/icsTPFV9Ea
— ᎽᎪᎬᏞ (@elle91) December 16, 2019
6.
Omg I’m Having a hard time decorating my new crib😩which one y’all think? pic.twitter.com/9tN5PpfYyB
— The 🔌 (@tiffany_lenice) December 17, 2019
7.
If you don’t use one of these to initiate leaving somewhere, are you even a dad?
“Let’s hit it.”
“Ready to rock and roll?”
“Shall we?”
“Let’s skidaddle.”
“Ready Freddy?”
“Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
“Saddle up.”
“Let’s get this show on the road.”— Classic Dad Moves (@classicdad) December 11, 2019
8.
emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick
— Taming Fred Savage (@FredTaming) December 14, 2019
9.
food’s almost here pic.twitter.com/BG309eQNVv
— mr. snit (@dumb_body) December 17, 2019
10.
SAURON: build me an army worthy of mordor
SARUMAN: so a buncha big beefcakes
SAURON: well no that’s not wh
SARUMAN: drop everything, boys! we’re buildin beefcakes!
SAURON:
SARUMAN: massive damp guys comin right up! beefy dudes!— rax king (@RaxKingIsDead) December 17, 2019
11.
got a text from the boys saying we gotta get to bethlehem to check out this freakin sweet baby that was just born
— James Colley (@JamColley) December 16, 2019
12.
This will never not be funny pic.twitter.com/mbasLBDyRa
— Cal (@wyattyhalpert) December 14, 2019
13.
me after i finally capture baby yoda: pic.twitter.com/j80jFOG2bl
— ™ v2 (@yaquoisyuexiao) December 13, 2019
14.
Fozzie Bear has his entire reality completely destroyed pic.twitter.com/zbWowUDyTw
— 🎄Muppet History 🕎 (@HistoryMuppet) December 12, 2019
15.
I really do love this time of year — the Christmas music, the twinkle lights, the woman in front of me in line at Costco who just told her husband, “We can give your cousin a pile of dog shit for all I care.”
— Melissa Hunter (@melissaFTW) December 20, 2019