5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today | January 8, 2020

Keeping up with the news is a full-time job. And not a very fun one! But you gotta at least pretend to know a few things so you don’t look like a buffoon while making small-talk at work or during happy hour. These are those things!

1. The “Witcher’s” showrunner shared the original pitch for the show on Reddit.

Not everyone here is a Witcher fan, but it’s certainly enough of a cultural movement that we’d be remiss in not covering things like this.

Over the weekend showrunner, Lauren Hissrich, who’s been interacting with fans of the series online since the first season dropped on Dec. 28, visited r/netflixwitcher to reveal a bit of behind-the-scenes insight. Her post on the subreddit detailed what happened in her original pitch meeting with Netflix, which she said took place on Nov. 29.

It’s a little long to include here, but check the above thread if you want to read more.

2. Antonio Brown said he’d ‘f*ck Logan Paul up.’

Personally I’d love to see both of these guys get their asses kicked, but, since playing in the NFL seems out of the question, for now, controversial wide receiver Antonio Brown has set his sights on a different kind of sporting accomplishment: He says he wants to beat up Logan Paul in the boxing ring.

Considering the YouTubers each made a $900,000 purse for fighting each other and considering that the event was the fifth-most watched stream on DAZN in 2019, it’s clear there is an opportunity for Brown.

Last month, Paul took the first step toward a potential matchup with Brown, telling Barstool sports radio that he wanted to “fuck up” Brown.

Late Monday night, Brown responded on Twitter, telling Paul simply to “square up.” Brown also told the radio show that he would “fuck Paul up.”

3. Hunter Biden, you ARE the father…of a stripper’s child.

Hunter Biden will be officially recorded as the father on the birth certificate of the 17-month-old he sired with an ex-stripper, the judge in his child-support case ruled on Tuesday.

4. With the Ben Solo Challenge, anything is a lightsaber.

There’s been no shortage of memes since the release of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker late last year, from roasting J.J. Abrams to celebrating Babu Frik—not to mention the proliferation of Star Wars memes on TikTok. And now the final film of the space-opera trilogy has inspired its own viral competition: the Ben Solo Challenge.

Those who have seen The Rise of Skywalker (and for those who have not, spoilers ahead) know that near the end of the film, Kylo Ren reclaims his true heritage as Ben Solo, who then follows Rey to Exegol where she’s about to face off with Palpatine. When he arrives, Ben encounters the Knights of Ren. However, his former army of henchmen is more than a bit surprised when, from behind his back, Ben pulls out a blue Jedi lightsaber instead of one of the red lightsabers used by the Sith.

At any rate, we all know what happens next. Boy saves the girl, girl kisses boy, and then boy evaporates into thin air. Like all the good ones do!

It’s this climactic moment that was the inspiration for the Ben Solo Challenge, which picked up steam this week after Twitter user @testtube27 tweeted out a video of himself pulling out a lightsaber and shrugging. “I now present the #BenSoloChallenge,” he wrote.

5. Women with bigger boobs suffer longer colds, new study says.

People put money toward a study to find out how boobs affect colds. Yep, you heard right.

However, what they found actually turned out to be interesting. Titled “Stereotypical and Actual Associations of Breast Size with Mating-Relevant Traits,” the study was published in the medical journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

The study focused on 400 women with various breast sizes, who were interviewed on how often they fell ill with a cold or flu over the past three years.

Brings new meaning to the term “chest cold!” HEYO!

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Jason

Jason Mustian

Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids.