Look, I like both cats and dogs. Owning one depends on what you’re willing to put up with. Like a box of shit in your house? Get a cat. Like starting every day with a hot bag of shit in your hand? Get a dog. Either way, I hope you like cleaning up shit.
[dog people] here’s my angel Rex! he knows 19 tricks & brings me my slippers every morning!
[cat people] this is Princess Murder who lets me live with her.she pees on everything i love. her interests include screaming & eating bugs. when she asks me to kill for her i will say yes
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) March 23, 2019
The difference between dog people and cat people: dog people wish their dogs were people. Cat people wish they were cats.
— Simon Sinek (@simonsinek) June 23, 2018
Isn’t is weird how we have one million dog breeds and everyone is like “goldendoodle” this or “chihuahua mix” that and if you ask someone what type of cat they have it’s just like “an orange one”
— Ali Kolbert (@AliKolbert) September 12, 2019
The difference between dog owners and cat owners is cat owners know no one wants to see pictures of their pet in the snow.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 29, 2014
You, a dog person: dogs are so good & their love is so pure
Me, a cat person/intellectual: CATS HAVE BEEN OPPRESSED SINCE THE DAWN OF THE BLACK DEATH, DON’T THINK I DON’T SEE YOUR ANTI-CAT AGENDA, WAKE UP SHEEPLE
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) May 14, 2018
dog people hate cats and cat people hate people
— ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀʙᴇᴀᴛssᴄɪssᴏʀs ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ (@paperbeatstweet) August 7, 2018
“Dogs are assholes”
DOG PERSON: YOU’RE an asshole!
“Cats are assholes”
CAT PERSON: Yeah
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 3, 2015
Cat videos: go viral when a cat is literally just nice to a person
— Chloe Dykstra (@skydart) September 7, 2019
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
— Gina Valley (@GinaValley) August 11, 2014
Cat people: “People who don’t like cats only hate them because they’re scared of their power & fear their superior intelligence. They’re scared of an animal with independence unlike a fucking servile pathetic dog.”
Cat: *gets tangled in the blind* x
— ᴾᴬᵁᴸᴰᴼᶜᴷ (@PaulDock93) December 29, 2018
My cat is a damn anarchist. (Spellcheck tried to correct that to “My cat is a damn antichrist.” Spellcheck is a dog person.)
— Jenny Lawson (@TheBloggess) January 24, 2017
Dog owner: oh, don’t worry, he’s friendly! He loves people! He’s just a big old softie angel baby and he would never hurt a fly
Cat owner: he’s a literal monster. Try not to make eye contact with him or otherwise upset him. He will literally eat your face and then LAUGH about it
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 6, 2019
Dog people liked Luke.
Cat people liked Han.
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) October 22, 2014
cat people: I like cats more but dogs are cool
dog people: cats are the DEVIL !!! I had a cat once and it ATE MY GRANDMA
— ella (@ellaharg) September 4, 2019
Does anyone else notice how cat people are absolutely convinced that their cat is THE CAT that will convince dog people they like cats??
— Steph George (@stephgeorge23) September 7, 2019
DOG PEOPLE: I like having a loyal, friendly companion.
CAT PEOPLE: I like cleaning up shit and being ignored.
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) April 17, 2015
Coming home to a dog VS to a cat
— 9GAG (@9GAG) May 23, 2019
Dog people: My dog is my CHILD.
Cat people: my cat is a fully grown adult human being that I invited to live with me and now is somehow in charge of my entire household.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 26, 2018
cat people say dog/human relationships are all about domination but the power dynamic is actually equal. this chihuahua knows exactly how to fuck up my entire life in like, 8 minutes tops
— (@333333333433333) July 27, 2019
There are three types of cat people:
1) all cats are good cats
2) my cat is the best cat, let’s make that clear right now, and I could not be paid to give a shit about anyone else’s
3) I have a cat because I can’t have a dog
— Sara Alfageeh (@SaraAlfageeh) July 24, 2019
“your dog is amazing!”
“no, YOUR dog is amazing!”
“my cat is amazing!”
“no, MY cat is amazing!”
— Timmy™ (@TheTimmyToes) September 11, 2015
dog people: you can trust a dog
cat people: you can chill with cats
village people: you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel
— andrew (@AndrewChamings) July 24, 2017
At least cat people and dog people can bond over how much they hate people people.
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) October 17, 2016