In my humble opinion, these are the best tweets tweeted this tweek.
what if Greta Thunberg is in a kind of Ferris Bueller situation where she just wanted one day off school and it’s spiralled out of control
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) February 5, 2020
Rat massage of the day. pic.twitter.com/Y4kaMi35Cf
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) February 6, 2020
Is it “for fucks sake” or “for fuck sake” ?
It’s for a work email so has to sound professional.
— Tachyon: (@Tachyon100) January 27, 2020
you could tell me any fact about how dangerous animals are in australia and I’d believe you. they got vampire bees? of course they do. dogs don’t need a permit to carry a gun? I won’t even google it.
— brent (@murrman5) February 3, 2020
Feeling overwhelmed by toilet paper math pic.twitter.com/37oQRu9477
— Ben Cahn (@Buncahn) February 1, 2020
imagine getting so horny that you call an attorney https://t.co/qE8wdL8wE6
— josh terry (@JoshhTerry) February 5, 2020
My boyfriend has no mental illness and it’s the weirdest shit. You know what he does when he’s tired? Goes to bed. When he’s hungry? Eats a snack. When he’s drunk? Stops drinking. I don’t get it.
— Susanna L Harris (@SusannaLHarris) February 5, 2020
I went to a job interview for Waffle House and one of the questions was “can you fight?
— Pre K ❄️ (@stayfrea_) February 4, 2020
My husband thinks the Disney Robin Hood movie created a generation of furries and I’m having a hard time coming up with a counter argument other than to point out that not EVERY character in this movie is sexy
— Renfamous™⭐️ (@renfamous) February 5, 2020
Oooo I’m Death. I’m a mean skeleton with a fancy sword. Fuck off, bone boy
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) February 5, 2020
Me leaving my puppy for only 10 minutes 😂🥰 pic.twitter.com/ocehbHSNmg
— lil nate$#⃣9⃣ (@lil_nate4) February 2, 2020
This is a helpful diagram of how to hide from an evil baby pic.twitter.com/twzXz5ymhc
— Headless horse, man (@HlessHman) February 5, 2020
A coyote and a badger use a culvert as a wildlife crossing to pass under a busy California highway together. Coyotes and badgers are known to hunt together.
🎥Peninsula Open Space Trust pic.twitter.com/oS9BL5JOoK
— Russ McSpadden (@PeccaryNotPig) February 4, 2020
It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop up like “Are you sure?”
— absolute angel (@InternetHippo) February 3, 2020
why does everything orcs make always look like shit. where are their artisans
— Mmm? (@Merman_Melville) February 2, 2020