Mike
I think we’ve finally gotten to a point in society vegans are just like anyone else. At least they seem less chatty about it. Haha just kidding.
I get that it’s a whole lifestyle and they’ll likely outlive me by a decade but their cheese is gross and social security will be gone by the time I’m old anyway. Bury me with slices of pepperoni on my eyes.
That being said, maybe leave vegans alone. Why do you care? You don’t have to be vegan.
1.
Going vegan is easy pic.twitter.com/6z1VXiGJ91
— Stoned 2 the Bone (@stoned2thabones) December 31, 2019
2.
There are actual grown men saying they won’t go to Greggs any more because of Vegan Steak Bakes. Imagine having masculinity that fragile.
— Hutch. (@nolittleman) January 2, 2020
3.
This vegan shit easy pic.twitter.com/lBXn1hzHFE
— insomniac (@no_sleepx) December 30, 2019
4.
I’ve been vegan for almost 22 years and I’m still busting fat nuts like a squirrel on steroids. Please take several seats. https://t.co/MrzbAMs8i0
— David Ⓥ (@VeganGenesis) December 28, 2019
5.
Two days into 2020 and McDonald’s has already pissed off the entire vegan population by offering us mashed vegetables in breadcrumbs as their ‘nEw VeGaN oPtIoN’
Veganise the chicken nuggets and McFlurrys or don’t bother you cowards.
— miserable at BBQs (@soypreme) January 2, 2020
6.
Hi I’m a boomer. You may remember me from such hits as “aww does the widdle millennial snowflake need a safe space because he’s so offended”. Today I’ll be losing my shit because a shop I don’t visit is selling a vegan steak bake I am under no obligation to buy.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 2, 2020
7.
girls be like i want a vegan bf until he starts farting
— kelbin (@pissboymcgee) December 31, 2019
8.
this vegan shit easy pic.twitter.com/AExYCsv00L
— V (@digbickvibes) January 2, 2020
9.
My brother has been pronouncing ‘Veganuary’ as ‘vag-anuary’ and I can’t stop laughing. He only realised his pronunciation was off after telling his bemused mother in law that he was going to get stuck into vaganuary this month.
Well played 2020. Well played.
— Whores of Yore (@WhoresofYore) January 1, 2020
10.
People who think vegans only eat salad are the same people who think the only furniture you can have sex on is a bed
— Nick Squires (@meatymcsorley) July 20, 2017
11.
There are people that are terrified that eating a vegan burger will turn them into a woman pic.twitter.com/WW3GADheSZ
— Wild Geerters (@classiclib3ral) December 28, 2019
12.
people really out here saying “I’ve never tried vegan food before” acting like it’s a whole cuisine bitch you’ve never had a carrot? a noodle? a french fry maybe??
— ⓥ (@melaninveganx) December 15, 2018
13.
When restaurants say they have vegan options https://t.co/Ms0CpArBjb
— A (@mogvvai) June 29, 2018
14.
vegans be like
breakfast: berry smoothie
lunch: veggie wrap with hummus and fresh pressed juice
dinner: beyond burger, fries, an entire package of oreos, three taco bell bean burritos, spicy sweet chili doritos, sour patch kids, and a pint on nondairy ben & jerrys ice cream
— CLLIN Ⓥ (@collinrenfro) September 3, 2018
15.
If you think vegans are easily offended, try telling a meat eater you made chicken wings out of cauliflower.
— black history matters (@tyrathetaurus) December 6, 2018
16.
Indie kids be like:
this vegan shit easy ✨ pic.twitter.com/ILPhoDWHe3— carlton bank$ (@katanasIice) February 18, 2019
17.
so y’all will stop using straws to save fish but won’t stop eating fish to save fish
— india Ⓥ (@tofumuse) July 26, 2018
18.
vegan alternatives to calling your partner “honey”:
-agave nectar
-maple syrup
-sugar (organic)
-stevia in the raw
-monk fruit extract— a very beautiful man (@jamescdeere) January 22, 2019
19.
“what are you eating?”
me: “vegan chicken nuggets!”
“omg we get it you don’t eat meat you don’t have to say it’s vegan every time”“what are you eating?”
me: “chicken nuggets”
“uuuMMMM just CHICKEN NUGGETS???? I THouGhht THAT U diDN’t EAT MEAT???”— kelp (@catkelc) September 24, 2018
20.
‘if ur a vegan why do u eat so much unhealthy food’
first of all, i hate myself not the animals
— em jane Ⓥ (@emjdv) October 16, 2017
21.
Vegan alternative to hunting: hide behind trees & blow kisses at unsuspecting deer.
— Slimmy Neutron (@able__bodies) October 23, 2015