Mike
Congrats on making it to Friday. Your reward? The best tweets of the week.
1.
[sees that my girlfriend from 3rd grade is getting married] Wow you didn’t waste any time did you Becky
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) February 20, 2020
2.
Why does this cat look like he’s being shown the tweets that got him fired pic.twitter.com/sYP437mFj0
— C H I L I (@heyitschili) February 17, 2020
3.
lay down next to her and shit my pants so when she wakes up she not the only one embarrassed https://t.co/5iguUkkpWa
— jason♡ (@tiredhearteyes) February 17, 2020
4.
These Oscars, forget it — we love the way Hollywood used to be, don’t we folks? We love that train coming right at you in the theater. The train’s comin in, scary, look out! But not to me. I was one of the first to say the train wasn’t going to hurt us and I said it very strongly
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 21, 2020
5.
having clinical depression is highly genetic which means there is a direct line between me and my one incredibly sad ancestor who was still hot enough to reproduce. I think of them often
— christina (@floozyesq) February 21, 2020
6.
One weird thing about video games is sometimes you’ll fight an animal and it’ll drop money!? Like, why did this zombie dog have 26 bucks?
— Ivan Decker (@ivandecker) February 11, 2020
7.
Finally a purpose for the internet pic.twitter.com/53YkVITqaA
— Josh McConnell (@joshmcconnell) February 12, 2020
8.
This animal……….I don’t deserve him pic.twitter.com/4Gg65siVDh
— ty ( ˘ ³˘) (@kittypeets) February 18, 2020
9.
Everyone feel free to roast my roommate who thought oatmeal cookies are just baked oatmeal pic.twitter.com/qGmd9aHKQt
— Guys Named Ernie for Bernie (Ern4Bern) (@LateNightNelly) February 20, 2020
10.
He’s not lying. It is Black History month. pic.twitter.com/tzIZjf33In
— influencersinthewild (@influencersitw) February 21, 2020
11.
why did teachers always put ur name on the board when u laughed or talked in class ?? lmao free clout ??
— 🌊 (@tdotwania) February 19, 2020
12.
The two types of wives pic.twitter.com/l9AziKwbja
— Cameron Bradford (@camerobradford) February 19, 2020
13.
Girls, bruh. That swing. The bat-flip… pic.twitter.com/lAY0NXcGv2
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) February 15, 2020
14.
what… and I mean the fuck pic.twitter.com/a4LN2qHccQ
— Allyiah✨ (@AllyiahsFace) February 13, 2020
15.
If the earth truly was flat, we would have flipped it over to the cool side by now.
— RM (@dorsalstream) February 18, 2020