While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
2.
“Sure!”— me saying no to something I don’t want to do
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 28, 2020
3.
How do we know this wasn’t Miss Frizz’s true form pic.twitter.com/CC4RhCIAcp
— ghost mom (@radtoria) February 26, 2020
4.
my favorite movie trope is when hot girl is… surprisingly beer drinking? when she’s girl but eat burger? when she lipstick but also talk football? when she grew up with four brothers but also… has blonde hair???
— (@spinubzilla) February 27, 2020
5.
I’ve had enough pic.twitter.com/MC8WZHKoSL
— Mari Poppins (@mariipoppins) February 25, 2020
6.
I expect a guy to take me to dinner the 3rd time I sleep with him.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) February 27, 2020
7.
What’s it like living with anxiety: pic.twitter.com/IDne7YbZMl
— Hannah Thompson (@HLThompson93) February 27, 2020
8.
going out for the night, won’t need this pic.twitter.com/fOhvwb2EM8
— sarah schauer (@SJSchauer) February 21, 2020
9.
“das me” pic.twitter.com/wduy3JtakU
— △⃒⃘ ross poldark’s tricorn △⃒⃘ (@iatemuggles) February 26, 2020
10.
SAFETY FIRST pic.twitter.com/R7TtHmfwQA
— BAD BOY POD (@badboypodcast) February 27, 2020
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Baby tracking app design is really… something. pic.twitter.com/aYE21ES2R6
— Gillian Smith (@gillianmsmith) February 28, 2020
13.
i showed my mom my new tattoo and she said, i gave u beautiful skin just for u to ruin it. first of off all mom, i was born w eczema so u wrong for that.
— baby 5 (@saydasao) February 22, 2020
14.
CDC: don’t touch your face
Me:
pic.twitter.com/rWByMxsDJ8— Brooke Rogers (@bkerogers) February 28, 2020
15.
Every major U.S. city has a nearly identical overcrowded food hall in a new cement building with string lights and stalls like “Meatball Slut”
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) February 25, 2020
16.
when gmail nudges me about an email i haven’t answered in a timely fashion pic.twitter.com/FbTGLz9DP5
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 27, 2020
17.
Who needs a weighted blanket when you can just lie under a week of unfolded laundry?
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 27, 2020
18.
yea can I get a lil to-go box? pic.twitter.com/HJXpJWXd5d
— soul eater ✨ (@RedlightVibes) February 23, 2020
19.
A slice of apple pie is $1.40 in Jamaica, and $2.60 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
— Stephy (@StephanieYeboah) February 26, 2020
20.
we don’t talk about the fact that c3po essentially wears a crop top nearly enough as we should pic.twitter.com/pwbNdyZ3iZ
— Emma Bolden (@emmabo) January 1, 2020
21.
Only hookup with a friend if you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level, which is never speaking again.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) February 24, 2020
22.
I know more than 30 people so this is absolutely terrible news https://t.co/ygolJ9fbYP
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) February 17, 2020
23.
Oh my god this Australian dating show has a guy who made his date draw him in the nude and the reveal of what she drew made me sob pic.twitter.com/Sze3ZaR9nz
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) February 29, 2020