15 Twitter Jokes Everyone Should’ve Read This Week
Here they are. My tweets of the week. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
1.
Hey people who are like “humanity is the virus, coronavirus is the earth’s vaccine,” I remember when I took my first bong rip, too.
— ErinEph (@ErinEph) March 18, 2020
2.
Final Destination was released 20 years ago today.
Remember that scene in the movie where I quarantined myself in that cabin so death couldn’t get me?
I’m doing that right fucking now, in real life!
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) March 17, 2020
3.
Since everyone’s going back to making phone calls this is just a friendly reminder that it feels so great to hang up on people
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) March 17, 2020
4.
*quarantine day 6*
roommate: should we make a list?
me: of what?
roommate: anything really…
— mary beth (@marybethbarone) March 19, 2020
5.
Isolation’s going well pic.twitter.com/XqY58BC8aC
— Clare 🍀💚🍀 (@clare_doc) March 19, 2020
6.
Tested positive for missing the homies
— lluvia (@Youveeuh) March 16, 2020
7.
They sent me the wrong fucking song pic.twitter.com/7PeMxPgVnq
— Jack Bensinger (@JackBensinger) March 19, 2020
8.
Damn, Derek! 😩😩😩 pic.twitter.com/hVGaspajAI
— Nate Collins (@BIGN98) March 19, 2020
9.
Charlotte learned parkour. pic.twitter.com/QQBy6HCAYv
— Kim Bhasin (@KimBhasin) March 19, 2020
10.
whelp that’s enough instagram for today pic.twitter.com/DhBam10JPN
— nikki “cute trash” black (@nikkiblackcat) March 18, 2020
11.
Standing at the window on day 5 of self-quarantine pic.twitter.com/OpsLiu3BAQ
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) March 17, 2020
12.
Leprequarantine. pic.twitter.com/CIrq0cwK51
— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) March 17, 2020
13.
If the nation’s aquariums do not share a new delightful penguin video every 24 hours I will deliberately expose myself to coronavirus https://t.co/kK0c9FlYeF
— Ser Thysys Awendys (@alexqarbuckle) March 17, 2020
14.
the pandemic is going to reset us sexually…before this everyone was eating ass and after this a kiss on the cheek is gonna be reserved for a couple that’s been talking for months
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) March 17, 2020
15.
If you’re looking for a distraction might I suggest wondering some more about that creepy old barn you saw from a fast-moving vehicle years ago.
— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) March 14, 2020