That’s Great, But Can I Get My Food On, You Know, An Actual Plate? (17 Pics)

I don’t know where I’m going out to eat when I can leave my apartment again but you can be damn sure it will have plates. If you go to a restaurant and they don’t bring your food out on a plate the food sucks. There’s no need to put it on a shovel. Don’t serve my food on a brick, either. Just bring it out on a plate and stop pretending you’re special.

1. Just put the food right on the table.

2. Something tells me that grilled cheese didn’t hang itself.

3. I said PLATE not SLATE.

4. Is that an old candle jar?

5. Don’t worry. They put paper down first to cover up the dog shit.

6. I love my butter served on a rock from the parking lot.

7. This better come out on a forklift or I’m not paying for it.

8. If I made a list of things I don’t want under my food, rocks would be in the top 10.

9. Served with a complimentary tetanus shot.

10. Could you make sure it looks like you found it in a dumpster?

11. This makes me want to throw that brick through a window.

12. The person who made this decision should be locked in a cage.

13. My dog wouldn’t eat here.

14.These onion rings are fried in 10W-30.

15. This is infuriating.

16. So that’s where the bank deposit tubes end up.

17. This mirror makes it easy to take a good look at yourself after eating at this restaurant.

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Nate Armbruster

When he's not doomscrolling Twitter or writing for Pleated-Jeans, Nate Armbruster writes jokes—and then tells them on stage as a stand-up comedian, where he can watch audiences (hopefully) laugh in real-time.