While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “23 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
me, turning my wifi off & on again: i am a woman in STEM
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) April 23, 2020
2.
please don't drink cleaner it's how mischa barton died in the sixth sense
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) April 24, 2020
3.
4.
got a fridge full of bullshit leftovers i loathe and resent
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 22, 2020
5.
6.
The existence of the meatball sub implies that there also exists a meatball dom pic.twitter.com/kCiHCUnstE
— linds (@Lwowwy) April 21, 2020
7.
https://twitter.com/kochsister/status/1254150786113851399
8.
https://twitter.com/andlikelaura/status/1253666867761172480
9.
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
10.
when my phone is charging to my computer but my computer isn’t plugged in, it feels like The Giving Tree, does this make sense
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) April 25, 2020
11.
https://twitter.com/yungsaat/status/1252472053170610177
12.
Old McDonald’s: now a farm https://t.co/2hCIGAaEhE
— hot mystic piss (@Mrs_Foo_Cough) April 21, 2020
13.
14.
https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1254140429437526016
15.
i’m in my landlord’s contacts as “freak on a lease”
— lily ebbott-burg (@user2r17gbxnge) April 20, 2020
16.
https://twitter.com/cottoncandaddy/status/1252688087039094784
17.
https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/1251907571037794304
18.
https://twitter.com/corrinedowlin/status/1250897326266372097
19.
Ah crap… pic.twitter.com/P4NNc95cgf
— Flora Gill (@FloraEGill) April 22, 2020
20.
Did the virus write this? https://t.co/3AigQuF1aL
— Lindsay Beyerstein (@beyerstein) April 20, 2020
21.
https://twitter.com/vornietom/status/1253559265647681536
22.
https://twitter.com/_LoveePiink3/status/1251862313210122240
23.
Good morning! Bring your B game today nobody cares!
— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) September 20, 2015