Hannah
Week three of everything in the world being really crazy and for good reason. There have been a more serious tweets but these women have found a way to look at the brighter side of things and make some really great jokes in the midst of this. Don’t forget to hop over to twitter and give these funny women a retweet and a follow.
1.
“He looked like if a warm can of sprite was a person” —a late night writer trying to describe the perpetrator to a police sketch artist
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 10, 2020
2.
oh my god. have not introduced myself to anyone in so long that when the USPS automated voice said to record my name for a call back i panicked and said "karen tree" what the fuck
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 12, 2020
3.
Day 5,344 of me explaining to my cat that his white feet are ridiculous and I will never take him seriously
— ghost mom (@radtoria) June 13, 2020
4.
Wow seems like lots of people upset about the new PlayStation could use some “consoling” !
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) June 12, 2020
5.
6.
I will NEVER forgive y’all for the way y’all acted at the grocery stores those first 3 weeks of quarantine
— stevie wonder fanpage (@lilliexnicole) June 9, 2020
7.
I don't just learn history from statues, I learn EVERYTHING from statues. BIOLOGY: greek gods have peepees sometimes. ANATOMY: girls dont have arms. RELIGION: jesus was big as brazil, VERY scary
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 12, 2020
8.
9.
if making my therapist laugh counts, yes i am still “active in the NYC comedy scene”
— jourdain (@jourdayen) June 10, 2020
10.
absolutely wild that elmo has had a dad this whole time, and that dad allowed elmo to spend the last 40 years running around new york city basically unsupervised.
— Erin milk poisoning Ryan (@morninggloria) June 6, 2020
11.
how tf a computer gone ask me if i'm a robot 😭 bitch you da robot 😭😭
— miss sour patch (@priincessslex) June 10, 2020
12.
13.
Quarantine has taught me a lot about myself. For example, I would marry someone just because they were good at making peach cobbler.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) June 12, 2020
14.
all my love and adoration to the woman in my zoom pilates class last week who thought she was muted so she just let her butthole give‘er for the full hour.
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) June 8, 2020
15.
Somebody said they accidentally screamed “Jesus” at a protest when they said “say his name” 😂
— 🥀 (@RemiOmolosho) June 10, 2020
16.
17.
https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1270523665344495618
18.
Why did I have to learn what a rhombus is? literally nothing is rhombus shaped.
— Reeezy (@MsReeezy) June 10, 2020
19.
20.
accidentally vacuumed up my air guitar again.
— kim. (@KimmyMonte) June 10, 2020
21.
welp, there’s nobody left in my family I can talk to without crying, but at least I have you, can of tomato paste.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) June 9, 2020
22.
23.
White people have no problem pronouncing Daenerys Targaryen but start stuttering when tryna pronounce Ahmed
— amna (@amnaaxs) June 8, 2020