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People Are Sharing What They’d Do If They Were God (15 Stories)

We live in a crazy world and it would be nice if we could fix every problem at the snap of a finger but what would you fix first? Obviously the big stuff, but don’t forget about the possibility of growing new teeth. People of Reddit are sharing what they’d do if they were God and I hope they get the chance to do it because we need some changes.

God is retiring, and asks you to permanently replace him. What is the first thing you do as the new God?

1. God needs a day off

Call in sick.

Who’s gonna fire me?

2. This is huge

I’m gonna finally fix that thing where you can bite the inside of your own mouth by accident.

3. We could do this without God, though

Everybody is getting their own theme song!

4. Surprised this hasn’t happened

I’m really sorry everybody, but I’ll probably be smashing things into earth at ludicrous speeds.

You’ve played universe sandbox, you know it’s addictive

5. There’s a sequel to everything

Write bible 2 with guns and dragons.

6. A must

Human rational thinking +1

Stand back a few days and adjust more if needed

7. No more dentist appointments

Humans are able to grow new teeth.

As someone who regrets not taking dental health seriously, it would be nice to have another chance.

8. Yes, please

No more mosquitoes!

9. God would be on Tiktok

Make media appearances, give interviews, book signings, etc. No more of this ridiculous divine hiddenness

10. What a waste

I’ll take a potato chip, And eat it

11. I guess that’s cool?

Make the sloth the fastest land speed animal in the world, overnight.

And give all pigeons the power of speech in a New York accent.

12. Worst God ever

Submit several journal papers explaining the deepest unanswered questions of the universe.

Also, probably make a sandwich.

13. The worst

Set up an automatic detection and punishment system for people who change lanes without using their turn signal.

14. Wouldn’t this be nice

Create one universal blood type.

No more of this multiple blood type non-compatibility bulls**t!

15. BRILLIANT

Remove all allergies to dogs.

Aw heck, I’ll be a nice guy and just get rid of allergies in general.

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