Hannah
Sometimes being 100% honest with your significant other isn’t the best move. After all, you are your partner’s closest confidant and some things be painful or just not the right moment to tell them something. As a certified huge baby myself, I definitely appreciate when my significant other doesn’t tell me about bugs in the apartment or that no one noticed that I tripled the amount of salt in a recipe on accident.
Redditor u/BigAWhipSpider set out to satisfy our curiosity by asking the people of Reddit the question: “Other than cheating, what secret do you keep from your SO to prevent upsetting them?”
Here are some of the best answers. I’ve gotta say, some of these are pretty cute.
1.
“His favorite dip is like 80% mayo. He has a terrible aversion to mayo. His mom has made it when he’s not been around his whole life, and now I continue the charade.” –meguin
2.
“My wife thinks that our beta fish mojito lived for like 5 years. What she doesn’t know is that the role of mojito has been played by 3 separate beta fish over that time. RIP mojito 2 and 3.” –WingmanZer0
3.
“When my mom and dad started dating in college, my mom accidentally took the remote control from dad’s apartment. He and his roommates looked for it and fought about it for months, before she finally got up the courage to leave it on the arm of their sofa.” –notinmyjohndra
4.
“Every time before we leave the house I play a game where I try to guess what she’s going to need while we’re out and I grab it (e.g. a warm hat and extra set of gloves, a small snack, inhaler, battery pack for phone, etc.). Sometimes I like to slip it into her bag or purse without her noticing, other times I reveal that I had it all along in a critical moment.” –another_throwaway_97
5.
“Occasionally I hide bananas then make them reappear when they are brown just so she will make banana bread. ” –Richard-Hindquarters
6.
“SO misuses words — a LOT. I’m a language guy. I get the feeling that that is a soft spot on her that previous partners poked pretty hard, so I just internally cringe and say nothing about it. I usually know what she’s trying to say.” –gogozrx
7.
“My ex-girlfriend had a few too many shots of tequila in a party and passed out on the couch. When I went to check her, I noticed she pissed all over the couch. To avoid embarrassments, I filled up a bucket with water and threw it over her to disguise it as a prank (I’m that kind of boyfriend).
She still has no idea.” –lucioalvii
8.
“My current weight. We are both dieting together and I tend to lose weight much faster than her. I don’t want to discourage her if I’ve lost 2x as much weight in the same amount of time.” –RunToImagine
9.
“Not me but my parents. If my mom wants to hide literally anything from my dad, no matter what it is, she just puts it somewhere where he would have to bend over to see it. Doesn’t matter if it’s something like a package of Oreos, if my dad has to bend over to find it he’s never going to find it. I’ve tested it with my own snacks when I was still living with them to confirm it works. He’d be mad if he knew how many snacks we’d hidden from him simply because he doesn’t bend over low enough to see it in the cabinet.” –gothiclg
10.
“I always watched ahead in Game of Thrones.
They talk during each episode, and I can tolerate it better if I’ve already seen the episode.” –Mortuan
11.
“When I see bugs in the apartment I always tell my wife it was only one bug so she doesn’t get scared. Then I kill the bugs.” –theonlydidymus
12.
“I ALWAYS pee in the shower. Every single time she’s not there with me. I mentioned it once kind of half-joking and she was so disgusted, but I don’t see the harm so I never stopped.” –Bauz3
13.
“My mom wrote me a note once for missing a homework assignment. Unfortunately, her handwriting and spelling was so bad that the teacher grilled me for trying to weasle my way out by forging it. My mom didn’t finish middle school and is not highly educated. I was so embarassed that I decided to just take the detention and public ridicule from the teacher as a liar, than ask my mom to back me up.”
“I now have a masters degree to make her proud. F–k you Mr Richardson.” –DannyEbeats
14.
“My boyfriend loves to show me memes/funny posts that he thinks I would find really funny, but I spend more time online than he does, so I’ve usually seen them well before he shows me. Every so often I pretend I haven’t yet seen a post just so he gets the satisfaction of being the first to show me.” –OMothmanWhereArtThou
15.
“Her cooking is terrible. Bland, tasteless, sometimes not even cooked properly. Actually most times not cooked properly.
I hate it when I mention that I like to cook and am quite good at it, because she gets upset that she can’t “look after her man.”
I’ve tired to make it so that we both make dinner together. At least then I can make sure the food is done properly.” –shadowbannedkiwi