Matt Benedetto creates hilarious fake inventions no one will ever really need because… why not? I’m still waiting for him to score a huge deal with an invention company. I don’t even know if that’s a real thing, but if it is, he should be the CEO or something. The lawn bartender certainly isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever seen. What invention of his is your favorite?
See more of his stuff here.
1. Cone Cream Catcher™️
We all know ice cream melts way too fast. Our newest ice cream cone holder collects all of your melted ice cream and features a pop-out nozzle so you can drink that cream later! Never cream your jeans ever.
2. The Commuter Cup Carrier™️
A place for your coffee on your daily commute. When the bus or subway is running late, whip out this ultra-sleek cup holder that unfolds and securely attaches to your shoe. Slide it on and drop your cup while you patiently wait to go where you’re headed. Now hopefully my boss doesn’t mind I’m 2 hours late.
Literally stand under your umbrella. We all have that one pair of shoes we simply can’t get wet. With our latest debut, buckle into extra protection with this miniature umbrella for your precious kicks. Ain’t no one gonna be able to rain on your parade.
4. The Vague Ruler™️
Oh… it’s about the length of a beer bottle. Sometimes you don’t need to know the exact measurement of something, just close enough. With our new ruler, gauge the size of just about anything in relation to the everyday object you already roughly know the size of. Ok, so maybe it’s more 1/2 way between a soda can and an iPhone….
5. The Glizzy Gripper™️
Enjoy your hot dogs privately in public. We all know that feeling of looking over our shoulder before diving into a fresh hot dog. With our newest invention, seamlessly enjoy your wiener while the privacy screen blocks the view as it enters your mouth. Who is ready for seconds?!
No AC, no problem. If your car is feeling a bit warm this summer, strap on our newest ceiling fan designed specifically for your four-wheeled transportation device. Stay cool & keep the air moving within your car while you make your way to your destination. Take that, heat index!
7. Grocery Cart Hoodie™️
You are now the shopping cart! This revolutionary hoodie is outfitted with a secret expandable mesh compartment. Simply buckle it to your shoulders so you can become the perfect hands-free shopping bag. It’s a whole new meaning to the Bag Boy.
Even out those summer T-shirt tan lines once and for all. Our newest fashion innovation features a 100% UV blocking fabric to help you fade that pesky farmer’s tan. Simply lose your shirt and gently slide on these fashionable on-the-go sleeves while you soak up the sunshine. Now who is going to lotion up my back for me?!
9. The MowTender™️
Mow your lawn and get a fresh beer delivered. Introducing our newest technology that combines the ease of an automated robotic lawnmower and the convenience of a bartender. Enjoy your Sunday chores on a whole new level with the most productive beer delivery system ever.
10. The Mixer Mask™️
The safest way to enjoy a cold one this holiday weekend. Strap into this protective mask featuring a 16oz pouch for your favorite beverage. Use the included funnel to fill it up, screw on the replaceable tip, and enjoy your drink while staying protected!
11. The Snack Saucer™️
Enjoy your snacks no matter how far you and your friends are! Our latest invention allows you to share snacks anywhere with this revolutionary frisbee with an integrated bowl. Simply fill the bowl to the brim with your snacks and let it soar through the air to your socially distant BFFs. Just be sure they know how to catch it 100% of the time.
12. The Not Today Mirror™️
Feeling ugly, close the curtain. Bad hair day, close the curtain. Our new mirror features five curtain zones to pick and choose what you see in the mirror. We all have those days where we just don’t want to look in the mirror, but now, you can simply hide that part of your body and move on!
13. The Not Hot Blanket™️
When only that one leg just needs a breather. We all overheat at night and sometimes there can be no solution in sight! Our newest blanket comes equipped with a tear-away section to reveal the perfect hole to let a single leg escape the covers. Now if only I could get back to sleep after all that moving around!
14. Paint-ercise Rollers™️
Turn painting into a full-body workout. Strap on these ergonomic paint rollers that fit comfortably within your palms. Stretch up and across while getting down low to complete your painting chore. Become your inner Picasso & Schwarzenegger at the same time.
15. Bedtime Finger Blaster™️
Never get out of your bed to turn the lights off again. This new amazingly handy blaster fires off a life-size finger across any room to swiftly turn out the lights when it’s time to hit the sack. Load the finger cartridge into the shooter, pull the trigger, and call it a night. Now go ask your mom if we can have a sleepover already!
16. The Coro-neck™️
Wear it up for your face or down for your chest. In those emergency cases where you forget your mask, this fashionable shirt features a face covering that quickly flips up to also reveal the perfect deep V-neck. Great for any guy or girl to look sexy while staying safe!
17. The Megaphone Mask™️
Be heard while staying safe! While wearing a mask is necessary, it can be a struggle at times to catch every spoken word. Our newest mask sports an integrated megaphone to project your conversation for everyone within earshot. Can you hear me now?
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