Things That Look Dirty, But Aren’t (30 Crappy Designs)

I’ve never followed any fads when it comes to fashion and design but why would anyone be into things that look dirty? I have a problem with this for a couple of reasons.

First, how would you know when or if something is actually clean? I’d be scrubbing most of these crappy designs for hours before remembering it’s supposed to look dirty.

Second, it just doesn’t look cool. A big thing for my generation was buying jeans that were already ripped. People buy them brand new with holes in them when they could just go to a thrift store.

Maybe it really is a good idea because it hides dirt. If you never want to clean your sink again, just tell people it’s designed to look dirty.


1. “This rose-themed bedspread.”

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2. “Plant dyed underwear on Etsy.”

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3. “These restroom tiles.”

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4. “Upon walking in this bathroom at the supermarket I was initially disgusted at the filth and lack of cleanliness until a closer look revealed it was designed this way.”

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5. “This small pool has a yellow plastic mat at the bottom, making it look like it is filled with urine.”

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6. “5-star hotel has these “clean” looking coffee cups.”

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7. “It looks like you peed your pants.”

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8. “My office’s cleaners use a yellow product to sanitize the toilets. Makes it look like someone forgot to flush.”

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9. “These ‘designer jeans’. look like they’re covered in poop stains.”

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10. “It looks like the hotel cart ran someone over and is tracking their blood through the halls.”

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11. “Yellow marble…really?”

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12. “This bathroom floor.”

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13. “Looks like somebody smeared poop on this table.”

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14. “This rug that looks like it’s covered in ants/fleas.”

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15. “Look what I found in the bathroom.”

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16. “This building I found in Osaka with marble patterned windows, looks like someone smeared liquid feces on them.”

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17. “This is apparently a clean wash basin.”

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18. “This weird straw that looks like it’s been collecting dirt for three months.”

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19. “This weird straw that looks like it’s been collecting dirt for three months.”

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20. “I tried to clean this only to figure out it’s the design.”

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21. “This (clean) napkin.”

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22. “How do you know when it’s time to wash them?”

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23. “This keyboard cover is supposed to look like marble but it just looks dirty.”

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24. “This is a sink at a high-quality, fancy French restaurant in San Fransisco. No, that is not dirt, but the *intentional* material of the inside of the sink. Also, those are not stains (unless the material soaks up stains, either way, bad sink design)”

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25. “This intentional design on this hoodie.”

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26. “This sink is completely clean.”

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27. “Silicone kitchen tools with a marble design that makes them look always dirty.”

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28. “Poop smear jeans.”

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29. “These tiles that are designed pre-worn and dirty.”

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30. “The style is supposed to be in “marble”, but instead they just look dirty.”

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Nate

Nate Armbruster

Nate Armbruster is a stand-up comedian and writer based in Chicago who is likely writing a joke as you read this. Find him online at natecomedy.com.