‘Rectum? Could’ve Killed ‘Em!’ — Hospital Evacuated After Man Has WWI Explosive Removed From Rectum

Doctors at Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon, France were left shocked and amazed when an 88-year-old man arrived at the hospital with a World War One bomb stuck in his rectum.

Upon his arrival, hospital officials became concerned that the antique explosive might detonate, causing a bomb scare at the facility. The man, who remains unnamed, had reportedly inserted the 8-inch artillery shell for sexual pleasure.

 

As a precautionary measure, the hospital evacuated adult and pediatric emergencies and diverted incoming emergencies. Bomb disposal experts were called in to assess the situation and determined that there was little risk of the shell exploding inside the man.

Despite the reassurance from the experts, doctors were understandably nervous about performing surgery to remove the object. However, they ultimately decided to go ahead with the procedure, which involved making an incision in order to dislodge the shell from the man’s rectum.

Once the shell was removed, doctors measured it at 8 inches long and more than 2 inches wide. Despite the potentially painful procedure, the man is said to be in good health and is recovering well.

The hospital spokesperson stated that they took all necessary precautions in order to manage the risk of the situation. It is understood that the shell was a collector’s item from the First World War and was commonly used by the French military in the early 1900s.

h/t

Nate

Nate Armbruster

Nate Armbruster is a stand-up comedian and writer based in Chicago who is likely writing a joke as you read this. Find him online at natecomedy.com.