Masha
Navigating the male-dominated blue-collar workforce can be tough, especially for women and trans individuals. Yet, it’s not insurmountable.
A TikToker, a trans man with steel mill experience, mastered these challenges by adapting to the workplace culture. He’s now sharing his valuable insights, captivating his audience.
Blue-collar jobs are mainly male-dominated and often seem like tough environments to handle for those not in the know.
“I was born a girl. I transitioned into a man. Put on about 200 pounds of f****** muscle mass. And then, I went to work at a steel mill”
“And everybody wants to know how did I survive.”
“So I essentially was [the] Jane Goodall of the steel mill, like, I was just observing the body language. I was observing the interactions. Here’s how you carry yourself around a group of men that feel intimidating, and uncomfortable, and unsafe to you.”
“One, go slow. Don’t care what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, go slow.”
“Walking fast, fast hand movements, they just read [as] nervous, okay? Even when I do the dumbest things, I do them slowly. Say I was at the supermarket, I dropped this. I would lean down very, very slowly, very casually. Like the laziest lion in the den. I’d pick it up, and I would put it back. And I would just go about my business.
“No one knows you’re f***** up. It’s all about the presentation and the perception of who you are and what you’re doing. When I drop things, do I think I’m the worst person on the planet? No, I’m just like, well, I dropped it.”
“Two: body language. Always…”
“Okay, this isn’t for like an everyday situation when you’re around like women and stuff. This is only for when you’re around all dudes. I want you to spread out as much as you can. Put your arm across the chair. Anytime I’m sitting down, and there’s a chair next to me, guess what b****? I’m pushing the chair out, putting my whole arm over like this, and I’m leaning back with my chin up, and I’m crossing my legs [and] stretching them out. Don’t do that around girls because that’s rude.”
“[There are] plenty of TED Talks and plenty of other things to show that it’s just biologically proven that being spread out is just a powerful stance, and it’ll trick your brain into calming down. Even if you’re really stressed out, assume a position that would demonstrate that you’re relaxed, and your mind will catch up. It may not be all the way, [but it] will be at least to the point where you can be in a place of neutrality, and also, everyone else watching you won’t know that you’re really nervous.”
“Number three, don’t laugh at their shitty jokes”
“If you’re with a dude, and he’s making a joke, and you don’t think it’s funny, don’t laugh, just sit there. This goes into my next point: you have to become very comfortable with silence because silence is very powerful, too. The art of not filling space also emanates confidence. You don’t have to fill the space. Sit down like I told you, spread out, and relax. That’s it. Just look at him if it was something really offensive, or if they were trying to f*** with you, all you have to say is, ‘What was that? Can you repeat that?’ And say it real loud. Watch them squirm.”
“That is how you get your energy source. When an offensive, dumb, insecure dude is running his mouth and trying to be funny, make your energy source in that interaction, making him uncomfortable. Men of this stature are incredibly insecure, [and] they are constantly seeking validation from other men. And they want it through laughter. They want it through approval of the comment. They want it through a nod of the head. Don’t give them any of it. And you don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to say that offended me. You literally have to sit in your own power and your own confidence, and look at them and just be like, ‘you’re a dumb motherf******.’”
“You need to practice being the observer and not the observed”
“The minute you shift that perspective, you can calm the f*** down, okay? I would walk into a room full of 30 dudes, did not know any of them, did not know squat about a steel mill. But you know what I did? I would stand, and I would put my hands on my hips [in a] power stance, and I would look at every one of them. Truly, if you’re ever in a scenario with a bunch of dudes, and they’re making you uncomfortable, watch how they interact with each other. Watch who’s doing what, watch who’s kissing a**, watch who’s demanding the a** kissing, watch how it all works, and understand the separation between you and them.”
“Both of those things will comfort you. You are making eye contact with men. Something that I do a lot is I’ll tilt my chin a little and I’ll nod. And this becomes more of my assessment of them, my evaluation of what’s being said to me. You know, turn my head, keep looking, keep nodding. Don’t be like, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ha ha ha.’ Don’t be doing all that, okay? Don’t be jumping to fill the space. Don’t be jumping to laugh at them. ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too, I know, I know, I know.’ Just hmm.”
“There’s plenty more to this”
“I have so much more to say. Please jump in the comments because I can answer them more specifically. Those are just a couple that I had off the top of my head. But at the end of the day, now, for certain, I can tell you that men don’t know what [the] f*** they’re doing! No more than anyone else. Men are just a lot better at being performative.”
“I can’t tell you how many times I stood in that steel mill with a bunch of other dudes around me, and they’re all scratching their bellies like confused orangutangs, but they’re making a s***ton of money. They probably went home and made their wives and kids feel like they were doing the most important job on the planet Earth, when in reality, they were gossiping, they were being homophobic, transphobic, [and] racist, and they were being insecure little children.”
“So just keep that in mind, okay? That helped me face my fears because I really truly thought that I was dumb. I didn’t know any better, I didn’t have the brainpower to learn a new skill. Guess what? I did! I did, I had no problem! That’s what I got for you, for now. I love y’all. I’ll be back with more, bye.”
Check out the full TikTok video:
@thegravelbro some advice from papa bear #ftm #transgender #fyp #transman #beard
♬ Chill and gentle lo-fi/10 minutes(1455687) – nightbird_bgm
Leo Macallan, known on TikTok as thegravelbro, is a multi-talented figure: a model, author, actor, and trans man. He’s made quite the splash on TikTok, racking up an impressive 425,000 followers and over 8.8 million likes in a short time. About a year ago, Leo decided to tackle his fears head-on by diving into a blue-collar job at a steel mill. This move was a culture shock for him initially, as he candidly shared in his videos.
Fast forward to now, and Leo’s experience at the steel mill has transformed dramatically. His recent TikTok post, with over 3.3 million views, shows how he’s not only adapted to but mastered the steel mill environment and culture, sharing these insights online. This content resonated strongly with his audience, who commended his bravery and found his observations universally applicable. Building on this success, Leo shared tips on handling toxic masculinity, like engaging in quiet activities, thinking before acting, practicing meditation, and ignoring negative thoughts. He also balanced his narrative by acknowledging that not everyone he encountered was problematic, emphasizing that his advice aims to help combat negative behavior rather than encourage it.
In the blue-collar world, a realm still largely ruled by cisgender men, the pace of change toward diversity is sluggish. Despite automation reducing physical labor demands, these jobs—hovering around a mere 5-8% participation by women in North America and Europe—remain entangled in toxic masculinity.
Catalyst highlights the slow progress, and Alice Evans of Brookings suggests it’s not about strength but culture. Women and trans individuals often face stereotypes, pushing them towards traditionally ‘feminine’ sectors like hospitality or social care, while seeking approval in male-dominated fields can be challenging.
As industries struggle with automation and reduced demand for manual labor, the culture of these workplaces plays a crucial role. Real progress awaits industry leaders taking the initiative, but until then, individuals like Leo offer guidance to navigate these environments, hopefully paving the way for future change.
People in the comments were really into the TikToker’s video, saying that the tips shared aren’t just for blue-collar jobs, but pretty handy in general.
h/t: BoredPanda