Joke about feeding a man fish and switching from pounds to kilograms.

75 Funny Jokes For When You Need A Laugh And Don’t Have A Reason

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Some days just need a joke. Not a reason, not a setup, not a whole bit. Just something that makes you laugh for ten seconds and then move on with your day slightly improved. That’s what this is.

A collection of jokes pulled from two of Reddit’s best joke communities, r/jokes and r/3amjokes, covering everything and nothing in no particular order. Some of them are clever. Some of them are stupid. Some of them are the kind of thing you’d say out loud to someone and then immediately regret and then they’d laugh anyway.

There’s no theme here and that’s the whole point. Just jokes. Just laughs. Just a day that needed a little help and got it.

1.

A man’s brain is removed in three parts, and he is asked to count to 10 after each removal.
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2.

Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.
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3.

4 beer company CEOs walked into a bar, joke about ordering drinks, and a humorous exchange about Gui.
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4.

An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, bu.
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5.

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6.

Pulls up to a gas station, attendant notices 5 penguins in the back seat.
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7.

Ribbons are rewards for participation, dad's confederate flag is taken down.
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8.

Teaching kids about democracy with movie votes and pizza to order, emphasizing money.
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9.

"Scientist: 'My findings are meaningless if taken out of context.'".
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10.

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years.
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11.

An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, bu.
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12.

My wife gave me an envelope with “Not to be opened until 2027” on it.
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13.

A woman visits her husband in prison, jokes about his exhaustion, and the officer's response about h.
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14.

My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3 years, she returned exactly $100.
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15.

A humorous Reddit post with the text "lamonthemoonandthereisnowheretogetabear" and "Thereisnospaceba.
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16.

A humorous joke about a child's misunderstanding of math and family.
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17.

A girl responds to Professor X about her mutant power, joking about healing paraplegics.
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18.

Joke about asking boss for a raise because three companies were after me.
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19.

"Funny joke about Harry Potter books spelling a secret message with first two letters".
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20.

Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once.
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21.

A man on bus with front trouser pockets full of golf balls, sitting next to a blonde woman.
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22.

Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day.
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23.

Old age is a thing.. Last night I was in bed for 20 min when I heard the pizza guy cough.
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24.

My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him.
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25.

Joke about anesthesia: gas or canoe paddle for knocking out before surgery.
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26.

I told my gf that I had a crush on beyonce!.
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27.

Losing 20% of my couch, ouch.
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28.

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself,.
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29.

Joke about elevator, meeting, and mistaken paternity with a humorous twist.
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30.

Exploding pandas eating bamboo, humorous 6-year-old joke about pandas.
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31.

An old lamp being rubbed by a guy with a genie appearing and granting three wishes.
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32.

A humorous joke about a boy asking for paper or plastic at the grocery store.
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33.

Why do dogs float on water so well? Because they are good buoys.
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34.

Joke about a man calling his wife "mother of six" at a club.
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35.

"Joke about self-description in five words, including humor about maturity, morality, purity, polite.
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36.

A woman with glasses and a surprised expression, holding a dictionary open.
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37.

A woman doesn't come home one night, the next day she tells her husband she slept over at a girlfrie.
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38.

"Is your refrigerator running? If so, I may vote for it.".
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39.

"Man receives apology text from neighbor about guilt and Wi-Fi issue".
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40.

Two cowboys in the desert with a bacon tree, joke about a bacon tree being saved.
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41.

Switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, causing confusion among Americans.
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42.

A stool at a bar with a man holding it up, sharing a joke about his wife loving him more than any wo.
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43.

A guy goes in for a physical; the doctor asks about his activity level. "What do you mean?" asks the.
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44.

A 6-year-old daughter's joke about a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth.
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45.

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman and Andy Serkis.
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46.

I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day.
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47.

Joke from 12-year-old: "Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?".
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48.

Joe goes to a fortune teller and she tells him he'll have unspeakable grief in 12 years.
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49.

A pastor joke about wife controlling husband, church, and man moving left.
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50.

A woman playing a piano with a humorous caption about the difficulty of learning the instrument.
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51.

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity.
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52.

A sister's joke about a word starting with P, ending with E, and having a million letters.
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53.

Teacher asks her class "What expands ten times it's size when excited?".
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54.

My girlfriend is the square root of -100, a solid 10 but imaginary.
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55.

Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day.
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56.

Man finds an old lamp in the desert and rubs it, releasing a genie with two wishes.
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57.

Roman numerals "I" and "like" text in a humorous meme format.
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58.

Businessman asks bellhop about the biggest tip he received at a hotel.
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59.

Getting up at 5:00AM, cardio, cold shower, journaling, scheduling, dad owns Fortune 500, meditating.
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60.

A married woman caught shoplifting a bag of apples.
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61.

A woman on a bus and the driver exclaims about her appearance.
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62.

A humorous joke about calling smart people tourists in the USA.
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63.

A man at a shrink says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.”.
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64.

A humorous image questioning why the military wears uniforms.
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65.

A humorous joke about the US Capitol and Mordor from Lord of the Rings.
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66.

Man at funeral asks priest for WiFi password during service.
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67.

A humorous joke about a waiter asking how the steak is prepared.
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68.

A mischievous raccoon with glowing eyes and a mask-like face, looking curious.
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69.

A dog with a humorous expression, standing next to a building.
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70.

My girlfriend dressed as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in.
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71.

4-letter word puzzle with a hint about asking a question.
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72.

Chocolate bar with gender pronouns "Her/she" written on it.
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73.

A woman holding a sign that says, "Did you know a vasectomy only works if you tell your wife about i.
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74.

A feminist told me about the "Dwayne Johnson Rule.".
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75.

A woman telling her son she needs a battery to tell the time, he asks if it's for a clock, and she r.
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