Roommate said he's 'running off seven hours of sleep' in a tweet.

35 Funny Tweets Everyone Should’ve Read This Week (July 18, 2026)

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Every week I end up with a folder full of tweets I’ve screenshotted just to send to my wife later, half of them make her laugh, the other half just get a slow blink and a “why do you send me these.”

I’ve gotten pretty good at knowing which ones will land and which ones are strictly for my own amusement, and this week’s batch was strong enough on both counts that I figured it was worth sharing more broadly instead of keeping it locked away in my camera roll where nobody else benefits from it.

Here are the funniest tweets that made the cut this week, no filler, no half-hearted inclusions, just the ones actually worth your time.

1.

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2.

A movie theater with empty seats and a large screen, viewed from the back.
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A tweet by Andrea about being safe from explosive diarrhea with images of soda, fries, a cocktail, m.
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10.

Person at work looking at phone with a caption about job stress.
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18.

A woman at a counter with a POS system, smiling, with a Square ad on the side.
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19.

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20.

Mason Home Builder tweet about designing a strip mall with zero visitors daily.
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23.

Workers in Chick-Fil-A uniforms looking like Harkonnen soldiers from Dune.
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24.

A box of Pop-Tarts Protein on a store shelf with other snack items.
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26.

Person's leg and shoe near a bathroom stall door with a wheel underneath.
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29.

Screenshot of Dunkin' Donuts app with a screenshot shield feature.
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Tweet comparing book buying online in 1995 and Amazon's setbacks in 2026.
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34.

Person practicing drink holding in case invited to a party later.
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35.

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