You’re laughing. i can’t have my airbnb guests regrout my bathroom & power wash my siding & you’re.

25 Funniest Tweets Of The Week Deserve A Few Minutes Of Your Weekend

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I can remember an embarrassing thing I said in 2009 with perfect clarity, but a funny tweet I read Tuesday? Gone. I know I laughed. I might have even sent it to my wife. Ask me what it said and I can’t remember.

It was short. There were words. I believe it had something to do with groceries.

Luckily, saving tweets requires considerably less brainpower than remembering them. I’ve collected some of the funniest ones from this week here, which means we can all enjoy them without relying on our brain’s memory. Mine is too full of old commercial jingles and an awkward interaction at a wedding last summer.

1.

Jobs be asking me for 3 references and I think I might start doing the same. Like let me talk to 3幸福.
via twitter

2.

Jasmine tweet screenshot: My daughter described her foot falling asleep as there is seltzer in my fe.
via twitter

3.

I did not dream of a wedding as a young girl I’ve always wanted to be a detect.
via twitter

4.

The Real Rodney Lacroix tweet: Me: I’m gonna take a nap. Me neighbors [all firing up their leaf blow.
via twitter

5.

You’re laughing. i can’t have my airbnb guests regrout my bathroom & power wash my siding & you’re l.
via twitter

6.

Tweet by Simon Holland: Thoughts and prayers to the rival dads out there who are going to struggle….
via twitter

7.

Liberty Mutual gotta pick a lane. You can’t have multiple mascots in 2026, this is no time for that.
via twitter

8.

Oh there’s a holiday celebrating candy, Satan, and death?? Cool let me just loop my children in on这个.
via twitter

9.

Kristen’s tweet about Netflix: We have movies! Me: Do you have the one I want to watch? Netflix: No,.
via twitter

10.

Tweet post by Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) complaining about new Airbnb rules that you can't ask guests/.
via twitter

11.

Not everyone was born to be an athlete. My 7-year old son, in the middle of his socc​.
via twitter

12.

Dear Black Friday, We all have the big TV’s now. Put the darn groceries on sale. Start with the ribe.
via twitter

13.

The guy behind me honked because I was going 65 in a 65 so now we are both going 40. Welcome to Menн.
via twitter

14.

Callum Lyon tweet: The clocks going back an hour isn't enough. I need them to go back 20 years so I.
via twitter

15.

No you’re so right, why would I want to see a picture of a restaurant’s actual food when I could see.
via twitter

16.

Amelia tweet image: 'Schools: DO NOT send your child to school if they’re sick. Also schools: If you.
via twitter

17.

Screenshot of a tweet by Soup lover (@goodmorningsoup) saying: "instead of a "for you" page there应该?.
via twitter

18.

Someone offered my 3yo a piece of candy and he was like "oh, i need to eat some real food first, my妈.
via twitter

19.

Anyone know how to dress for a low of 37 and a high of 84?.
via twitter

20.

Sarah tweet about college campus life: running into problems, nap interrupted by marching band 100 y.
via twitter

21.

via twitter

22.

Next time your mom show you an unfunny memes, remember how she reacted when you showed her your wack.
via twitter

23.

People being into celebrity news is like “Did you hear p eepee cheated on poopoo”.
via twitter

24.

I know all my friends who have my location are fake as fuck because why had no one texted to ask ifI.
via twitter

25.

I am going to fall back so hard next weekend.
via twitter