Willy wonka wouldn’t be able to do the golden ticket things today because it would just be 5 scalper.

25 Funny Tweets From People Who Had A Few Things To Say Today

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Somewhere right now, a person is typing, deleting it, and deciding it’s probably better to keep that thought to themselves. I envy the restraint. I’m also glad the people in this post didn’t have it. You can only walk around with an observation for so long before you need somebody else to hear it. Ideally, a friend. But your friend is at work, and this thought cannot wait until 5:30. So now it belongs to Twitter.

That’s how we end up here, reading a stranger’s very specific complaint and thinking, “Finally. Somebody said it.” Or wondering what sequence of events led them to say it at all. Both are good reasons to keep scrolling.

If you’ve still got a little scrolling left in you, yesterday’s funniest tweets had a few things to say, too.

1.

It's weird that when you put a tie on a dog, he looks like he's a silly little fellow and when you p.
via twitter

2.

“Listen to your body” followed by a tweet stating My Body: You slept weird so now your左.
via twitter

3.

"suit yourself!" - a terrible employee at a suit store.
via twitter

4.

Willy Wonka wouldn’t be able to do the golden ticket things today because it would just be 5 scalper.
via twitter

5.

Funniest tweets of the day post by Merky profile with a long, repetitive question about choosing sea.
via twitter

6.

Remx tweet about being 7 weeks away from 2027 and printing a PDF by lying to your computer.
via twitter

7.

Gavin Hales tweet about a missing cat and its new family, posted in a neighbourhood WhatsApp group.
via twitter

8.

My impression of someone on a dating app: Hi I’m not looking to date right now.
via twitter

9.

I had a dream Adam Sandler was a murderer and I was fighting him and stabbing him with a curtain rod.
via twitter

10.

Kip Conlon tweet: It's been a long day. I'll see what's new in Chrome later.
via twitter

11.

Please don’t blow your fruity vapes around my kids, I’m raising them strictly on Marlboro reds.
via twitter

12.

The Ginger Swindler tweet: working from home today and being very normal (roasting a pork shoulder 1.
via twitter

13.

A new Wisconsin compliment has dropped You’re from Wisconsin You just are born with bar related Tal-.
via twitter

14.

Haley ( profile picture ) no one wants to hear this including me, but unfortunately one great thing.
via twitter

15.

Alan Felyk tweet: My body is not a temple. It feels more like an abandoned Blockbuster that still Sm.
via twitter

16.

Love watching football with my dad because he cusses real weird. “Ball is moving around like a canaр.
via twitter

17.

How it feels to have a birthday — a large pig surrounded by people in a black-and-white photo.
via twitter

18.

It's nice when the fantasy app is like, congrats on winning champ, go grab a miller lite right now.
via twitter

19.

Friend at a party: Hey bud it sounds like you're throwing up in there, you ok? Me after having halfa.
via twitter

20.

Tweet by @seattleiminyou: My favorite bit at work is giving anyone who makes me laugh an employee of.
via twitter

21.

Every time I drink I’m overcome with the urge to do one of these.
via twitter

22.

Me for my whole career: would u like it to be measurable or would u like it to be good :).
via twitter

23.

Goma tweet about shore being 30 minutes away in the other direction and Demon Harbor seal, with TVP/.
via twitter

24.

The brits really popped off with innit. I love to say it it’s so fun. unfortunately england must t.
via twitter

25.

Under Where tweet: I accidentally hit the grok button Global warming is my fault guys I’m so [redact.
via twitter