Due to inflation I'm downgrading from ADHD to AD720p with ads.

35 Funniest Tweets From Women Who Deserve The Last Word This Week

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November 1 is a strange day. Yesterday, it was okay to have a skeleton in your yard.

I’m not ready for the holiday handoff. I still have Halloween candy to eat, and now stores are replacing their plastic pumpkins with a sign that says “Believe.”

Fortunately, Sunday still gives us a little time to sit around looking at our phones before we have to become useful again. These funny tweets from women are a good use of that window. We rounded up the funniest from this week, so get comfortable and enjoy a few laughs before remembering whatever you said you’d get done this weekend.

1.

I was on the train sitting on one of the fold-down handicap seats and I'm wearing a satin dress so.
via twitter

2.

Chase sapphire would be such a beautiful name for a baby girl.
via twitter

3.

It's important that you sleep with all of your electronics as close to your head as possible.
via twitter

4.

Flying cars but not a single functional strapless bra.
via twitter

5.

Gotta enroll for a phd degree to stay on the spotify student plan.
via twitter

6.

I'm just a girl standing in front of a task, hoping it completes itself.
via twitter

7.

Dana donnelly tweet about ordering wine, waiter holding ID up to light, hologram verification, and a.
via twitter

8.

Due to inflation I'm downgrading from ADHD to AD720p with ads.
via twitter

9.

Obsessed with Pottery Barn Teen's 'boy gender ceiling lighting' section image showing chandelier and.
via twitter

10.

Of course I’m fun, babe. I got us tickets to see that three hour long documentary on Saturday at 9am.
via twitter

11.

Katie_moders tweet about being a beekeeper: the worst part about being a beekeeper is kissing all 30.
via twitter

12.

Someone to brush their teeth with me, because 9 out of 10 dentists say brushing alone won't帮.
via twitter

13.

I got a job at the comb factory. It’s part time.
via twitter

14.

I went to a Halloween party & the host asked me, 'What are you?' I replied, 'I'm a harp.' The host,.
via twitter

15.

Sometime in penn station you run into your high school classmate and she tells you her and herhusbnd.
via twitter

16.

Stomach growling like there isn’t like 30 lbs of fat right there that it could be eating rn.
via twitter

17.

These non stop political ads are really making me miss hearing about mesothelioma and vaginal mesh.
via twitter

18.

Whisked eggs really poorly today - a female scientist in lab coat in a bright laboratory.
via twitter

19.

1 minute left. Me, loads the dishwasher, vacuums, cleans fridge, makes dinner.
via twitter

20.

My 10 year old: “if you’re ugly on the outside just wear make up. If you’re ugly on the inside just.
via twitter

21.

My brother has asked again & again, checked & rechecked to make sure he understands what my 4yo_n ie.
via twitter

22.

Grenadine girl login to LinkedIn and commenting who cares on every post.
via twitter

23.

Grace Jarvis tweet about chicken wings and mindfulness.
via twitter

24.

The oldest people in the world are at the bank performing the most elaborate transactions.
via twitter

25.

Any thoughts? no I’m trying to cut back actually.
via twitter

26.

People only say.
via twitter

27.

My reason for doing things:1. spite2. the aesthetic3. a deadline i invented.
via twitter

28.

Gin tweet about normalizing cutting tension in a meeting, ending with 'We’re all gonna die one day,,.
via twitter

29.

Putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me..... i have to dip. i control the sauce.
via twitter

30.

This pizza doesn’t taste like it was spun in the air really really high.
via twitter

31.

I tried booking a room in Miami and they have an $600 incidental deposit. I called to get more info….
via twitter

32.

Opening a movie theater that electrocuts you if you pull your phone out.
via twitter

33.

I have bug bites in october because you stupid f*cks can't stop watching AI fruit tiktok slop.
via twitter

34.

I just realized that somehow I had do not disturb set from 4:30pm to 8:30am and that is why life has.
via twitter

35.

“Anything for you baby” I whisper to myself as I make another reckless financial decision.
via twitter