26 Rude Houseguests Who Gave Their Hosts A Reason To Stop Inviting People Over
I want people to feel comfortable in my home, but I’d prefer they maintain a small amount of guest anxiety. Just enough to use a coaster and ask before opening something. The same feeling that makes you rinse a dish at someone else’s house even though you’ve got three soaking in your own sink.
“Make yourself at home” is mostly permission to sit down. Maybe help yourself to a glass of water. It doesn’t mean you can rearrange the furniture.
The people in these rude houseguest stories apparently heard something different. Their hosts offered a place to hang out or spend the night and ended up with a story they’re probably still telling every time someone asks why they never have people over anymore.
1. “He Offered Me A Shot Of My Own Whiskey.”
My old roommate once had friends over, and unbeknownst to me, one of the guests went through my kitchen cupboards (each roommate had their own one), found a bottle of unopened whiskey, and decided it was totally cool to crack it open and start offering people shots of it. No one saw him pull it out of my stuff, so they thought he brought it with him. I eventually came out of my room, and he offered me a shot of my own whiskey.
When I looked at the bottle, I immediately went to my cupboard to check and called him out for stealing my booze and trying to pass it off as his own. He then claimed it was “no big deal” and called me a bad host. I told him to get out, and after he refused to reimburse me, I kicked him out of the house. Every time he’d try to come over with my roommates, I’d tell him to give me my money, or he wasn’t welcome inside. After a couple of years, he kinda phased out of the friend group.
— u/_kvl_
2. “My Mom Booby-Trapped Hers With A Slinky Tangled Up In Wire Hangers And Brass Bells.”
My father’s three sisters used to snoop in our bedroom closets every time they visited. My mom booby-trapped hers with a Slinky tangled up in wire hangers and brass bells. The women’s screams when those things sprang out at them were awesome. Pretty sure the oldest peed herself.
3. “This Guy Took A Bath During A PARTY.”
This guy took a bath during a PARTY. He tried to do it at anyone’s house he was at long enough. It was SO WEIRD.
4. “She Left Them On Our Front Lawn And Went Home.”
My MIL showed up with a secondhand couch and loveseat she got for 50 bucks because she thought we needed different ones. She drove three hours, and when I said we didn’t want or need them, she left them on our front lawn and went home. No one would take them on FB Marketplace, so I had to pay to dispose of them.
— u/wdh662
5. “She Had Helped Herself Indeed, To My Week’s Worth Of Groceries.”
When I was still in college, I had a friend stay with me over a weekend. She had a high-paying job, and at the time, I was struggling to make ends meet every month. The morning she left, I had to go to my part-time, minimum-wage job, and I told her to help herself to food from my fridge to make herself some sandwiches for the train ride (about a six-hour trip).
When I came home, she had helped herself indeed, to my week’s worth of groceries. The only thing she didn’t take was some milk and a quarter of a watermelon. I nearly cried.
6. “My Sister Once Left An Entire Quesadilla Under My Couch Cushions.”
My sister once left an entire quesadilla under my couch cushions. We were both in our late 20s/early 30s when this happened. Luckily, it was discovered quickly after she left. I never had a mouse problem until she couch-surfed at my place. I wonder why.
7. “They Started Talking TO EACH OTHER About Whether They Were Going To Stay The Night.”
A friend and his girlfriend came to visit my partner and me for brunch, followed by board games at our place for a couple of hours. Or, at least we thought that was the plan. They only live about 45 minutes away, so it’s not a super long drive, and it’s a pretty standard distance for where we live. They also don’t drink, so they weren’t drunk at brunch or something.
Brunch happened, they came over and played one board game, followed by another. After two hours, he pulled out another game. Ninety more minutes pass. We didn’t want to provide them with dinner, and we were doing all of the “welp [knee slap] this has been fun!” social cues, but they didn’t get it. I took the dog for a walk, a long walk. No change.
Then they started talking TO EACH OTHER about whether they were going to stay the night at our house. They did not ask us if they could, and it was only 7 p.m.! Go home! It was hardly even dark outside!! There weren’t treacherous road conditions! AND YOU DIDN’T ASK IF YOU COULD STAY!!
It was the weirdest thing. We pulled some story out about how we had to wake up early, and they figured it out. But we never talked to them afterwards because, like, what was that?
8. “He Squished All The Air Out Of One Of The Dough Loaves With His Fist.”
My husband loves to bake. He spent the whole day proofing, folding, and prepping a bread dough for dinner. He shaped a few loaves and left them on the kitchen counter to rise one more time.
That day, my dad came over for his biannual cry about how I don’t love him or talk to him enough. As he was leaving, he squished all the air out of one of the dough loaves with his fist. He then laughed in my husband’s face and walked out. And he wonders why I don’t put effort into seeing him.
9. “I Had A Guest Take All My Things Off My Floating Bookshelves And Throw Them In The Closet.”
I had a guest take all my things off my floating bookshelves and throw them in the closet. Books, pictures, that kind of thing, and put their personal items there instead. Just weird.
10. “So I Started Setting My Alarm To 3:45 A.M. To Get In Front Of Him.”
My parents’ relatives used to stay with us. At the time, I had to wake up at 4 a.m. to go to work. Tell me why this guy would hear my alarm and rush to the bathroom. He had nowhere to go, and it only took me 15 minutes to get ready. So I started setting my alarm to 3:45 a.m. to get in front of him. Same nonsense. I hated that guy.
11. “Especially The Chair, Which Was A Surprising Find When Sitting Down In It.”
The last time my brother-in-law and his wife visited, we found multiple things broken when they left. One big thing (the leg of a chair) and multiple weird small things (an ice tray, the handle of a spatula, and a knickknack).
I obviously hated that they broke things, but I really hated that they didn’t bother to tell anyone what happened. Especially the chair, which was a surprising find when sitting down in it.
12. “I Came Back Into The Room, And She Was Cutting A Second Lime Directly On The Wood Again.”
Someone cut up a lime directly on the wood of the nice table in my dining room with a butter knife. I cleaned it up, handed her a small cutting board and bar knife. I came back into the room, and she was cutting a second lime directly on the wood again with the butter knife. What?!
13. “With Their Shoes On My Pillow!”
A new friend came over and lay on my bed with shoes on, with their shoes on my pillow!
14. “He Started Cutting His Toenails In The Middle Of My Living Room.”
A friend of a friend was over, and mid-conversation, he took off his socks, pulled out a nail clipper, and started cutting his toenails in the middle of my living room. I asked him to leave.
15. “There Was A Trash Can Right Next To The Bed.”
He was throwing his single-use contact lenses behind the bed. Found the pile of disgusting old contacts months later while deep cleaning. There was a trash can right next to the bed, by the way.
16. “She Rearranged The Kitchen Cabinets To Be More ‘Efficient.’”
When my dad died, my aunt came to stay with us to support my mom. She rearranged the kitchen cabinets to be more “efficient,” even though they’d been that way for 30 years. My calm little mom nearly punched her. In the wake of her life changing literally forever and for the worse, the last thing she wanted was more change for no reason.
17. “A Visiting Dude Kept Changing The Thermostat In My Apartment.”
A visiting dude kept changing the thermostat in my apartment. I was struggling to keep the anger out of my voice. He claimed he didn’t know there was anything wrong with doing that because he’s from Europe and doesn’t have AC, but you still gotta know you can’t go to someone’s home and start changing things without asking.
18. “She Said I Was Making Too Big A Deal Out Of It When I Asked For It Back.”
A former friend let her 2-year-old eat a chocolate biscotti and get it all over my new carpet. She then “accidentally” wrapped up a piece of my silverware and took it home with her. Then she said I was making too big a deal out of it when I asked for it back.
19. “Putting Her Dirty Shoes On Our Dinner Table.”
Putting her dirty shoes on our dinner table, where we eat.
20. “I Made Her Pay For All The Supplies And Meds.”
My mom brought her dog over without asking, and her dog had FLEAS. Both of my cats ended up with them. It took months to fully get rid of them. Had to clean and treat my entire house multiple times. I made her pay for all the supplies and meds, and barely spoke to her for a year because I was so mad.
21. “The Funny Thing Is, They Gave Me A New Promo.”
Years ago, my ex’s brother got drunk and purchased adult movies on our living room TV. Neither his wife nor we were aware he had done this since we were all asleep at the time.
When we got our cable bill, it was $40 higher. I never opened the detailed statement, just looked at the amount that was set to autopay, and assumed the company was price-gouging us again. I called and raised a fuss. The funny thing is, they gave me a new promo and never confronted me on the adult movie charges.
Later, I went to the website to double-check the promo and realized what really happened, and I could have crawled into a hole. I was so embarrassed. I added a purchase PIN to my TV and wanted to deep clean the couch.
22. “Someone Dropped A Bunch Of Pills And Never Told Anyone.”
Someone dropped a bunch of pills and never told anyone. I found several random pills under the couch and on the floor, everything from aspirin to blood pressure meds and heart pills. I have cats, for crying out loud. That person is now banned from coming into my home.
23. “My Cousin Was Staying At Our House, And He Peed On My Cat.”
Weird, yes, but I can’t really hate this because it was an accident and also hilarious. My cousin was staying at our house, and he peed on my cat. More accurately, he was peeing into the toilet, and my doofus cat leapt over the toilet right through his stream.
My family and I were out at the time and didn’t hear about it until later, but my cousin was nice enough to try to chase her down and wash her off.
24. “It Seemed So Normal For Him To Do.”
A guest once picked his nose, found gold, rolled it between his fingers, then popped it in his mouth for extra shaping and spat it out like a missile. It seemed so normal for him to do I don’t think he even clicked that he was doing it. I felt pure rage.
25. “Needless To Say, He Was Not Invited Back.”
Someone once got so drunk he pooped his pants on my sofa. It was diarrhea. We had to throw it away. Needless to say, he was not invited back.
26. “My Toddler Got The Gun Out Of Her Purse.”
I hosted Thanksgiving, and my MAGA sister-in-law brought a handgun in her purse. She laid her purse on the floor, and my toddler got the gun out of her purse and started waving it around. All the conceal-and-carry folks who were also packing thought it was hilarious. I do not get within miles of these people now.