There are people out there performing open-heart surgery, landing planes and making scientific break.

25 Of The Funniest Tweets We Found On The Internet Today

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I know we spend a lot of time talking about how terrible the internet has become, but I still think it’s pretty incredible that I can open an app and immediately find someone complaining about something I didn’t even realize that I also thought.

That’s the beauty of Twitter.

Anyway, I spent some time digging through the internet today. Hopefully, these will make your day a little better, or at least give you something to look at while you’re supposed to be doing something else.

If that’s not enough, catch up on yesterday’s funniest tweets for another round of internet nonsense.

1.

OL BOO COCKY: I can’t wait till my kids get grown and they invite me over to dinner so I can squeeze.
via twitter

2.

There are people out there performing open-heart surgery, landing planes and making scientific break.
via twitter

3.

“paula” quote screenshot: “I wouldn’t be seduced by a spy” you were seduced by the promise of a free.
via twitter

4.

Theself-checkoutmachineannouncesanunexpecteditemlikeyou’vetriedtointroe a wild animal into the shop.
via twitter

5.

Told my wife the perk of her new in-office job is that it gives her the chance to yearn and she just.
via twitter

6.

Alan Felyk tweet: Nothing unites humanity quite like the sheer panic of having a cashier finish sca​.
via twitter

7.

Adriana Porter Felt tweet about leaving the house, husband's comment on her hair; humorous personal—.
via twitter

8.

Sandwich board sign on curb with AI-generated picture of a pizza sign reading 'PIZZA BY THE SLICE'.
via twitter

9.

Statue of a winged lion seated in a car seat with a seat belt, autumn trees visible through the car".
via twitter

10.

Tweet by Marcmywords about dieting and buying bigger pants after dieting.
via twitter

11.

Keira @headlitesdeer tweet about breast has 5-letter-word vibes.
via twitter

12.

Tweet image by Joe Pontillo: Things to say when someone sneezes: - I don't respect you. - God can't帮.
via twitter

13.

I’m on a diet, so I’m only having one zebra cake with lunch along with taco onions.
via twitter

14.

I received word today that I will not be allowed to go caroling at the psych ward this year; itSeems.
via twitter

15.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
via twitter

16.

Tweet image showing text about not throwing fruits or bruising people, contrast with child says we c.
via twitter

17.

Okay so scissor defeats paper, valid. Rock broke the scissor, sound logic. Now HOW IS.
via twitter

18.

Doctor's offices be like: please arrive 15 minutes early so we can make you sit in a waiting room 45.
via twitter

19.

My curiosity has led me places you can't even imagine - Lay's Roasted Holiday Turkey flavored potato.
via twitter

20.

Work event I ran came in $4 under budget with a smile.
via twitter

21.

Nate Armbruster tweet about Christmas budget and nice things he's done for them.
via twitter

22.

Tweet by Josh McGough, MD: scheduling all my emails to send at 8:01 am tomorrow so people think I [A.
via twitter

23.

The password must be between 152 and 1294 characters. It cannot be the same as any word in any known.
via twitter

24.

This frog lamp at the antique store got happier when i bought it :) ?.
via twitter

25.

Just had a customer tell me “d as in dick.” I’m done.
via twitter