Noah Berman
One of my favorite things to do at the end of a long day is going to my local bar, sipping a whiskey on the patio under the setting Los Angeles sun, surrounded by beautiful actors and models happily chatting away, but also never really seeing any of that because I’m looking at tweets on my phone. Like, the whole time. It’s great. The tweets are never ending. That Los Angeles sun will set. The bar will close. Most of these actors and models will give up, move home, and start a family they’ll grow to resent. But the tweets? Ah, the tweets. The tweets are forever.
1.
told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??"
it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription.
— m. diane (@cULTMOTHER) June 11, 2018
2.
https://twitter.com/rikkibrumbaugh/status/1004199994075832321
3.
I often think fondly of the stranger on the subway who saw me playing a game on my phone and told me to “read a fucking book,” not knowing at the time I was a full-time book reviewer.
— Kevin Nguyen (@knguyen) June 12, 2018
4.
https://twitter.com/Barknado69/status/1006581500039614464
5.
my ex boyfriend called me a house cat. he said, “you nap a lot, you disappear for a few hours & nobody knows wtf you do, you come back around and ask for attention then you push people away and nap again”
the accuracy though
— larry the cable skye (@_skyeamber) June 10, 2018
6.
https://twitter.com/yipe/status/1005555741153902592
7.
https://twitter.com/Holly_Monson/status/1005200292189597696
8.
I trust Chick-fil-A so much that I don’t even check my bag and if they get my order wrong I just assume they know what’s best for me.
— HASH DADDY (@sirHASHington) June 8, 2018
9.
Tbh every other number is higher than one…. https://t.co/vQ3CAwcW52
— Brandon G. Wint (@BrandonWint_) June 7, 2018
10.
Turns out the cream I’ve been putting in my coffee each morning that I brought home from Africa has an alcohol content of 17% .. no wonder I’ve been having such great days lately
— meg (@mmmobrie) June 6, 2018
