Noah Berman
6.
Me: Do you know why they call it Good Friday?
7-year-old: There’s no school.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 30, 2018
5.
7-year-old: Why does my teacher keep testing what I know?
Me: What should she do?
7: Trust me.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 28, 2018
4.
7-year-old: You should let me eat more candy.
Me: Why?
7: Then you won’t eat it.
She’s my new diet plan.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 26, 2018
3.
3-year-old daughter: Will I have a baby in my belly someday?
Me: If you want to.
3: No thanks. That’s where I put my candy.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2016
2.
5-year-old: *won’t get out of bed*
Me: I don’t want to fight you every morning.
5: Then let me win.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 4, 2018
1.
Me: Hurry.
5-year-old: I am.
Me: You’re still in bed.
5: I’m sleeping faster.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2018