Pleated Jeans
While Mike Primavera already does a pretty damn good job with his coed weekly funny tweet roundup, we also think that until women get paid as much as men, it’s our duty to single out funny female tweets. Here’s what fire the funny ladies of the Tweeter brought this week.
DISCLAIMER: the headline “22 Women Who Made Us Piss Our Pants Laughing This Week” is a bit misleading. Truth be told, no one makes us piss our pants. We do it because we like it.
1.
she was a punk he did ballet pic.twitter.com/7t09D7UIb8
— aida (@rxbbersoul) July 7, 2019
2.
So today at the gym I thought my trainer was flirting with me when he asked for my number/ to take a pic of me. Turns out he thought I resembled BUZZ LIGHTYEAR and sent me this. pic.twitter.com/f6SLyH2F33
— Emily Colder (@embaummy) July 10, 2019
3.
Look at this bisexual cat pic.twitter.com/MvraADHvUs
— Elizabeth Sampat (@twoscooters) July 9, 2019
4.
My Uber profile says I’m deaf so when I get into Uber’s I usually just sign hello to them and don’t speak anymore but this Uber driver just called someone and said “this deaf bitch just got in so I can talk for a minute” lmfaooooo
— skol slaw (@nicoleslaaww) July 10, 2019
5.
If you ever wonder what having a brother is like…. pic.twitter.com/bnpDhxDxe3
— Marlene Mendez (@MarleneDizzle) July 10, 2019
6.
Somehow all of the neighborhood cats managed to get into our trampoline… pic.twitter.com/rRAjgCuuAr
— Bailey (@baileyhall2424) July 6, 2019
7.
Man for a country that doesn’t care about women or soccer, we are fucking amazing at women’s soccer
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) July 7, 2019
8.
if someone compliments you on a garment do you ever respond with how cheap it is, like thanks it was $20 on sale, or thanks i got it for $5 off a chinese website, or thanks its actually a burial shroud i thrifted, from a coffin
— . (@swordsjew) July 7, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/jourdayen/status/1149062991591149568
10.
(opening my god damn email) there better not be any god damn emails in here
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) July 8, 2019
11.
https://twitter.com/emilyhughes/status/1149048571997691904
12.
https://twitter.com/painthands/status/1146613563722567680
13.
guys be like “I’m so much smarter than you because I’m talking in a calm, monotoned demeanor and I rarely show emotion, I win”
— leighsandra (@fkalisy) July 9, 2019
14.
Therapist: And what do we say when we feel like this?
Me: It be like that sometimes
Therapist: No
— Sabrina (@stfu_sabs) July 8, 2019
15.
https://twitter.com/melissaradz/status/1148052232769851393
16.
Who the fuck wrote this book about me pic.twitter.com/SkpwJeCLqE
— JC Lau (@drjclau) July 7, 2019
17.
As a woman, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a bra-fitter laugh in your face and say “oh honey…” when you tell her what size you’ve been wearing your entire life.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) July 6, 2019
18.
https://twitter.com/rachsyme/status/1149085687972601856
19.
Me and my gals in college: yaaaas let’s drink this BAG of wine & go DAAAANCING
Me and my gals now: Ok so what you are experiencing is repressed trauma and what im about to guide you through is called dialectical behavior therapy
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 7, 2019
20.
https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/1148569336182968320
21.
https://twitter.com/SJSchauer/status/1148317224740052992
22.
I think penguins are spot on. I have no notes for penguins. Flawless. Effortless. Design. Story. Humor. Forward motion. Cohesiveness. A triumph of bird.
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) July 8, 2019