Anatomy Of A Mall Santa

The entire concept of Santa Claus is strange, but the part that always irked me the most was having to go see the mall Santa.

While I loved Santa for bringing me toys every year, I knew the Santa at the mall wasn’t the real deal. There was always something off about him. No matter who is was playing Santa, they always had a weird aura about them.

From my collective experiences with various mall Santas over the years, I feel qualified to bring you The Anatomy of a Mall Santa. Enjoy.

More Pleated-Jeans Originals:

Mike

Mike Primavera

Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome