Mike
I get it. You’re back to work. You didn’t have time to scroll through twitter for several hours and see the best tweets of the week. Do you know who did have that kind of time? Me. I am so alone.
1.
thousands of years of art, language, and cultural development led up to this exact moment pic.twitter.com/2Dn02tyxYM
— hannah (@skywaIkersoIos) January 2, 2020
2.
every city has a bar named “the library” and everyone inside looks like this pic.twitter.com/lq4QKgZ9I3
— ava wolf (@wownicebuttdude) January 2, 2020
3.
Why them pants look like that one soccer ball everyone has but doesn’t know where it’s from https://t.co/gughZ0iOQr
— ah〽️ed 🇵🇷 🇹🇳 (@ahmierda) January 1, 2020
4.
Shout out to my neighbor Bane who’s already out here working on those resolutions pic.twitter.com/nGtlvtOoc4
— Dorsey Shaw (@dorseyshaw) January 2, 2020
5.
i relate to wikipedia’s ethos of being a useful resource while also constantly pleading for help
— al (@local__celeb) January 2, 2020
6.
we don’t talk about the fact that c3po essentially wears a crop top nearly enough as we should pic.twitter.com/pwbNdyZ3iZ
— Emma Bolden (@emmabo) January 1, 2020
7.
house guests use the weirdest cups 😂😂😂😂😂😂 nobody uses that one 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
— Paul Danke (@pauldanke) December 28, 2019
8.
that boy Stanced the fuck up https://t.co/eM3YfNPncZ
— reverend bill (@BillRatchet) December 29, 2019
9.
goals for 2020:
• learn how to read
• either gain or lose 100lbs (havent decided which yet)— losing it, (@prophethusband) December 29, 2019
10.
I made the airport dildo video better pic.twitter.com/QOBgyRGNfH
— melodramatic libra (@wittyvitriol) December 28, 2019
11.
Frog Fact: frogs have existed since time immemorial and therefore predate original sin, meaning they have no need to celebrate Easter as Christ’s death means nothing to them.
— warrior bimbo (@omajestic) December 26, 2019
12.
My dad saw a condom wrapper on my floor and freaked out saying he didn’t know I had a boyfriend, but I assured him that condom was from a guy I met once & will never see again.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) December 27, 2019
13.
R.I.P. 2019 (2019 – 2019)
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 31, 2019
14.
The Pope when you grab his arm pic.twitter.com/mOM8lLgucM
— Dr. Bucky Isohope it’s a good 2020 (@BuckyIsotope) January 1, 2020
15.
Symbiotic relationship of the day. pic.twitter.com/t7hjMbgt2Y
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) December 31, 2019