5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today | January 14, 2020

Keeping up with the news is a full-time job. And not a very fun one! But learning about a few things going on in the world today can’t hurt — if for no other reason than having something to make awkward-small talk about at your office or during happy hour!

These are some things we think it mostly can’t hurt knowing today:

1. Casper lost $80M on mattress returns, discounts and coupons last year, and now they want you to invest in them!

Casper, the online mattress retailer, has filed to go public.

On Friday, the buzzy sleep startup filed paperwork with the US Securities and Exchange Commission to start trading on the New York Stock Exchange. It plans to list its common stock under the ticker symbol “CSPR.” Casper did not say how much money it plans to raise in the offering or the valuation it’s seeking, but it did indicate net losses of $92.1 million in 2018, and, get this, $80M in losses on returns, exchanges, and discounts.

While I don’t often give financial advice on Pleated-Jeans, IMHO you’re probably going to be better off putting your money in an actual mattress than investing in Casper’s IPO.

2. LSU and Joe Burrow took it to Clemson, final score 42-25.

For the first time all year, LSU trailed by double digits during the first half of last night’s College Football National Championship. And then QB, Heisman Trophy winner and projected #1 NFL draft pick Joe Burrow kicked into high gear, throwing for a record 6 touchdowns.

I suppose I wanted LSU to win because they’re in the SEC along with Bama, thus justifying Bama’s loss to them. Additionally, I suppose I’ll include this tweet to make fun of myself for bragging about LSU’s win as an SEC team. (Though Bama won 11 games, not 4 or 5.)

3. Amazon is selling a remote-controlled, expandable tiny home for $37,000.

Amazon is known as a fast way to buy and receive items. But it’s taking that to the next level by selling a remote-controlled expandable tiny house that can be delivered straight to your doorstep. (Talk about efficiency: You can buy and deliver yourself a new house while sitting in your old house.)

The tiny house is on the market for about $37,000. Customers can use a remote control to fold and expand the small home, which comes with a living room, mini kitchen, and bathroom. To top it all off, the house is run off of solar and wind power, according to the Amazon listing.

The idea behind the portable tiny houses is that they can be used in different situations to make “your life more comfortable.” They are also marketed as affordable options as the median home price in the U.S. is about $227,000, according to Zillow.

4. A billionaire is looking for a girlfriend to take to the moon.

Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa has opened an online application for a girlfriend who will “go to the moon with him” on a SpaceX aircraft.

Maezawa, whose worth was pinned at $2 billion by the most recent Forbes estimate, put down a deposit with Elon Musk’s company to be the first private customer of the rocket, the Verge reported in 2018. It’s anticipated that his trip could take place as soon as 2023, and as the date looms closer, Maezawa wants to reserve a spot for someone special.

His advertisement invites a future girlfriend to take part in his moon trip and a “serious matchmaking documentary” titled Full Moon Lovers. An application for the role, which Maezawa appears to be taking very seriously, is listed on a website.

5. Astros fire AJ Hinch, Jeff Luhnow after MLB levies punishment for roles in sign-stealing.

The Houston Astros fired manager A.J. Hinch and general manager Jeff Luhnow after Major League Baseball levied a one-year suspension on both men for their roles in the sign-stealing scandal, team owner Jim Crane announced Monday.

As part of the punishment, Houston also loses its first- and second-round draft picks for the 2020 and 2021 drafts and will be fined $5 million, according to The Athletic. Former Astros assistant general manager Brandon Taubman will be placed on baseball’s ineligible list.

Hey, at least they didn’t do steroids?

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