Mike
Look, you should have have been washing your hands this whole time. It’s a little troubling to me that this seems like new information to so many of you. However, touching your own face isn’t something you really think about, well, not until someone tells you not to do it. Then you realize you touch your face no less than 1,467 times a day. We’re all going to die.
1.
When I read the CDC says not to touch your face: pic.twitter.com/4KkiusjUFd
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 29, 2020
2.
CDC: please don’t touch your face
Me: what if I get something in my eye
CDC: just try not—
Me: or like, a bad itch on my cheek
CDC: then wash yo—
Me: THIS IS TOO HARD, I CAN’T DO IT
CDC: *facepalm*
Me: SEE YOU CAN’T DO IT EITHER
— Grace Under Sadness (@OpOnions) February 28, 2020
3.
when the cdc says not to touch your face pic.twitter.com/sVOLckvidy
— wes (@wesisrad) February 28, 2020
4.
Somehow “don’t touch your face” to me turned into “you can only touch your face at home where all the bacteria that can be found is like family and def not corona virus”
— Sarah Hagi (@geekylonglegs) March 5, 2020
5.
CDC: how many times did you touch your face today?
— Joshua Ray (@joshuaray) February 29, 2020
6.
Authority figures talking about how face touching is so dangerous and unclean. Like, are you TRYING to make it my new fetish?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 5, 2020
7.
CDC: don’t touch your face
My face: Your nose itches. You have an eyebrow out of place. Your cheek itches. You have a sharp booger. Your eye itches. Now your nose itches again. #seattlecoronavirus
— Derek (@derekhamiltron) March 3, 2020
8.
touch your face
— Tanya Chen (@tanyachen) March 5, 2020
9.
Retiring so I can focus full-time on what I never realized was my main passion— touching my face
— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) March 5, 2020
10.
**Behaves normally**
**reads you shouldn’t touch your face because of the Coronavirus***
**SPENDS THE REST OF THE DAY WITH ONE HAND IN MY MOUTH AND THE OTHER IN MY EYE OH MY GOD HAVE I ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS?!?**
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) March 3, 2020
11.
If the CDC didn’t want me to touch my face they absolutely should have said “Touch your face a bunch, touch it all the time, it’s the only way to be safe”
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) March 2, 2020
12.
If you’d have asked me before, “do you touch your face more than six million times per day?” I would have said, “No, I don’t believe so?” But alas!
— Anil Dash (@anildash) March 3, 2020
13.
I want to die as I lived — frequently touching my own face
— Stephen LaConte (@stephenlc) March 5, 2020
14.
Realizing basically all I do is touch my face.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 3, 2020
15.
me when the cdc says to stop touching my face pic.twitter.com/5Gggv8pg3G
— samantha (@parrillaftswift) March 4, 2020
16.
don’t touch my face???? well how the hell do YOU suggest i show my shock at being left home alone while my family goes on a christmas vacation????????????
— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) February 28, 2020
17.
this has been me since the CDC said not to touch your face pic.twitter.com/C3mUiZmzdq
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 5, 2020
18.
But, if I don’t touch my face who is going to
— T.J. Chambers (@tjchambersLA) March 1, 2020
19.
When this is all over I’m gonna touch my face so fucking much
— Gabriel Roth (@gabrielroth) February 28, 2020