Mike
I’m sure you had time to read all the great tweets this week but just in case you didn’t here are the 25 best. Funny jokes are good medicine.
1.
I felt bad because I couldn’t resist petting my sleeping dog and it woke her up but then I remembered she doesn’t work or contribute to this household in any way literally does nothing all day except sleep unless you count that big hole she’s digging by the patio adopt don’t shop
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) May 21, 2020
2.
https://twitter.com/RexChapman/status/1263495195850661890?s=20
3.
https://twitter.com/CurtisRemarc/status/1263558120590188546?s=20
4.
I hope this email finds you living in a shotgun shack
I hope this email finds you in another part of the world
I hope this email finds you behind the wheel of a large automobile
I hope this email finds you in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife— Grace Segers (@Grace_Segers) May 22, 2020
5.
https://twitter.com/ultraneiers/status/1263267826325954564?s=20
6.
https://twitter.com/SJSchauer/status/1263662102922670088?s=20
7.
I miss leaving an event that I never wanted to go to and ubering home no matter the cost!!
— pat regan (@poregan) May 22, 2020
8.
https://twitter.com/LittleWetback/status/1262886762118078465?s=20
9.
been making coffee at home instead of getting starbucks for two months which according to economists should’ve made me a billionaire by now so what is happening
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) May 19, 2020
10.
https://twitter.com/kuwabigaill/status/1261821899983724545?s=20
11.
This pipe almost gave me a heart attack. For a second I thought Rafiki from the Lion King was living under my backyard. pic.twitter.com/yChuvQDIwu
— Johnny Rowland (@JohnnyRowlands) May 15, 2020
12.
bro why tf did kids randomly just throw up in the middle of class during elementary school all the time
— aidan (@1029pm_) May 15, 2020
13.
i miss checking in to hotels and getting briefed on what the concept of a hotel is
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) May 21, 2020
14.
thinking of my high school classmate who said "my people built that" referring to the gothic architecture of Notre-Dame because she identified as a goth
— JP (@jpbrammer) May 21, 2020
15.
when your girlfriend runs into her friend and you’re stuck with the other boyfriend pic.twitter.com/mhUlHxJ1Co
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) January 6, 2020
16.
https://twitter.com/dennismhogan/status/1263156947093786624?s=20
17.
https://twitter.com/franhoepfner/status/1262904391755083778?s=20
18.
girls make fun of 3 in 1 body wash because there jealouse of how much free time it gives guys to play with there friends on the computer
— Patrick Doran (@lunch_enjoyer) May 19, 2020
19.
https://twitter.com/whirringblender/status/1262120749801881603?s=20
20.
Inventing the Gatling gun ironically. Lmao it shoots so many bullets, as a bit pic.twitter.com/ruJX227VL2
— Tom Studans (@maximumwelfare) May 17, 2020
21.
https://twitter.com/KyleDodsonFunny/status/1261807574502051841?s=20
22.
https://twitter.com/roxiqt/status/1262576893464850437?s=20
23.
https://twitter.com/vanilladragn/status/1262096094143696896?s=20
24.
Y’all are so dumb cooking ur food at 350° for 40 min when u could just do the math and cook it at 14,000° for one minute.
— ♡snakel3t♡ (@snakel3t) May 16, 2020
25.
— Videos in my folder (@VideosFolder) May 17, 2020
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