Mike
I’m sure you had time to read all the great tweets this week but just in case you didn’t here are the 25 best. Funny jokes are good medicine.
1.
if im going on a date i think regardless of gender, the other person should pay. this is rooted in the fact that i don’t want to pay
— al (@local__celeb) May 24, 2020
2.
My Close Friends list is for only my most enduring friendships and also ten people I've never spoken to but I think have "good energy"
— walker (@walkercapl) May 24, 2020
3.
https://twitter.com/chisakanon/status/1264971049248096256?s=20
4.
https://twitter.com/sistersome/status/1264986483280265217?s=20
5.
*books a quick flight to Kansas City*
*sprints from airport to this sign*
*gasps for breath*
so….does…your…mom pic.twitter.com/yFctv0GEUz— Dr. Bucky Isotope, why am I here, am I even real? (@BuckyIsotope) May 25, 2020
6.
https://twitter.com/TBrown_80/status/1264912097059749889?s=20
7.
https://twitter.com/victoriaxxviii/status/1265635189063065603?s=20
8.
https://twitter.com/BrendanDaGawd/status/1264619887353139200?s=20
9.
https://twitter.com/drankturpentine/status/1264737706954784768?s=20
10.
https://twitter.com/samaracello/status/1264211335425990657?s=20
11.
https://twitter.com/Browtweaten/status/1263831327079575553?s=20
12.
https://twitter.com/andrwwang/status/1265021043866873856?s=20
13.
https://twitter.com/dosesofkae_/status/1264937534259421184?s=20
14.
https://twitter.com/shirajgold/status/1265300198668095488?s=20
15.
https://twitter.com/dykefataIe/status/1264883705778241537?s=20
16.
https://twitter.com/PhilJamesson/status/1265007751106908161?s=20
17.
https://twitter.com/GabbiBoyd/status/1264761707320283146?s=20
18.
https://twitter.com/dlicj/status/1265030351681802240?s=20
19.
https://twitter.com/zachbdunn/status/1265508914931683328?s=20
20.
https://twitter.com/JoseCanseco/status/1265120729957150720?s=20
21.
https://twitter.com/PleaseBeGneiss/status/1266404973354512384?s=20
22.
https://twitter.com/BoogTweets/status/1265774788032806930?s=20
23.
https://twitter.com/a_busy_woman/status/1265141598956015617?s=20
24.
https://twitter.com/keatsfanclub/status/1259875135449751552?s=20
25.
haven’t been tweeting because i finished being mentally ill. good luck to the rest of you
— saint cignatius (@saintcignatius) May 11, 2020