Mike
Not a lot of funny jokes this week, and for good reason. I’ve peppered in the few good ones I found, but I’m gonna throw in some old favorites too. Stay as safe as you can out there ❤️
1.
Now I be like “oh fuck i forgot my mask” like im spiderman or something
— Neal Owusu (@neal_thatdude) June 9, 2020
2.
This just might be the best toy he’s ever gotten😭🛺🧡 Watch til the end lol pic.twitter.com/FdFFshHKjG
— Jayla Henry (@jaylabrenae) June 10, 2020
3.
Unlucky lads; got the ps5 already 🤷🏻♂️ pic.twitter.com/neEVEgks7S
— Martin Davis (@GGhandi_) June 11, 2020
4.
6 months into 2020 and I’ve probably enjoyed about 12 days altogether
— Lewis (@RichardsonLewis) June 9, 2020
5.
it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again
— Listen here Nomb Nuts (@dril) September 24, 2014
6.
My mother got some nerve talking about “ThE hOuSe AiNt EvEn ThAt HoT” 😭 pic.twitter.com/BeeaYf0KCl
— juh•nigh❤️ (@janainandi) June 10, 2020
7.
https://twitter.com/ScanlanWithAnA/status/1270333146857439233?s=20
8.
https://twitter.com/emmycantread/status/1270557013211217931?s=20
9.
https://twitter.com/playgirlebony/status/1270478272581603329?s=20
10.
https://twitter.com/DelonFim/status/1269734721904357376?s=20
11.
https://twitter.com/RickyJuuice/status/1270114439308722176?s=20
12.
Kirby has no ankles because the Goddess Athena saw what became of Achilles and sought to fashion a warrior that, this time, would not plagued by a single flaw
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) June 11, 2020
13.
thank u, rulebook, for the glaring omission that gave me a career
— Air Bud 🏀🐕 (@AIRBUD) June 9, 2020
14.
the mortifying ordeal of being known pic.twitter.com/j4yEoLNmGv
— nevona (@nevona) June 10, 2020
15.
[a parasite moves into my body]
me: hey sorry about the mess
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) May 14, 2020
16.
https://twitter.com/OGJusto_/status/1270402562978652162?s=20
17.
https://twitter.com/Ygrene/status/818591584698638337?s=20
18.
https://twitter.com/stfuBud/status/1271151183009177600?s=20
19.
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy— brent (@murrman5) January 14, 2015
20.
They’re playing professional baseball in Korea in front of stuffed animals. This should be a permanent change. pic.twitter.com/zWaE9fj3Uo
— Eric Hynes (@eshynes) June 7, 2020
21.
be kind, for everyone is kung fu fighting a battle that you know nothing about
— bornmiserable.bsky.social (@bornmiserable) August 7, 2018
22.
My four year old is watching Toy Story for the first time ever and he just whispered to himself, “Alive toys… I knew it.”
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) February 8, 2018
23.
People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
— ghost mom (@radtoria) October 21, 2014
24.
He's not even trying anymore… pic.twitter.com/DHxbkqKy6q
— mo (@chuuew) January 16, 2017
25.
whoa spaghetti, bam-a-lam, whoa spaghetti, bam-a-lam, spaghetti is great, bam-a-lam, for two dogs on a date, bam-a-lam
— elon mustard (@nice_mustard) January 5, 2015