Mike
Not a lot of funny jokes this week, and for good reason. I’ve peppered in the few good ones I found, but I’m gonna throw in some old favorites too. Stay as safe as you can out there ❤️
1.
Now I be like “oh fuck i forgot my mask” like im spiderman or something
— Neal Owusu (@neal_thatdude) June 9, 2020
2.
https://twitter.com/jaylabrenae/status/1270830112079073281?s=20
3.
https://twitter.com/GGhandi_/status/1271190635127681024?s=20
4.
6 months into 2020 and I’ve probably enjoyed about 12 days altogether
— Lewis (@RichardsonLewis) June 9, 2020
5.
it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again
— Listen here Nomb Nuts (@dril) September 24, 2014
6.
https://twitter.com/nandiii_x/status/1270818064699928581?s=20
7.
https://twitter.com/ScanlanWithAnA/status/1270333146857439233?s=20
8.
https://twitter.com/emmycantread/status/1270557013211217931?s=20
9.
https://twitter.com/playgirlebony/status/1270478272581603329?s=20
10.
https://twitter.com/DelonFim/status/1269734721904357376?s=20
11.
https://twitter.com/RickyJuuice/status/1270114439308722176?s=20
12.
Kirby has no ankles because the Goddess Athena saw what became of Achilles and sought to fashion a warrior that, this time, would not plagued by a single flaw
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) June 11, 2020
13.
https://twitter.com/AIRBUD/status/1270486495091216385?s=20
14.
the mortifying ordeal of being known pic.twitter.com/j4yEoLNmGv
— nevona (@nevona) June 10, 2020
15.
https://twitter.com/thombodytolove/status/1260927713293897729?s=20
16.
https://twitter.com/OGJusto_/status/1270402562978652162?s=20
17.
https://twitter.com/Ygrene/status/818591584698638337?s=20
18.
https://twitter.com/stfuBud/status/1271151183009177600?s=20
19.
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy— brent (@murrman5) January 14, 2015
20.
They’re playing professional baseball in Korea in front of stuffed animals. This should be a permanent change. pic.twitter.com/zWaE9fj3Uo
— Eric Hynes (@eshynes) June 7, 2020
21.
be kind, for everyone is kung fu fighting a battle that you know nothing about
— bornmiserable.bsky.social (@bornmiserable) August 7, 2018
22.
My four year old is watching Toy Story for the first time ever and he just whispered to himself, “Alive toys… I knew it.”
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) February 8, 2018
23.
People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
— ghost mom (@radtoria) October 21, 2014
24.
He's not even trying anymore… pic.twitter.com/DHxbkqKy6q
— mo (@chuuew) January 16, 2017
25.
whoa spaghetti, bam-a-lam, whoa spaghetti, bam-a-lam, spaghetti is great, bam-a-lam, for two dogs on a date, bam-a-lam
— elon mustard (@nice_mustard) January 5, 2015