23 Of The Funniest Tweets From Women Ever (This Week)

Everyone needs a laugh now more than ever and these hilarious ladies delivered with the funniest tweets I scrolled passed this week. Keep up the good work ladies, this is the only serotonin I have coming in right now.

1.

texting on my phone: hi! Ok!

texting on my computer: hello sweet friend YES that sounds amazing and i cannot WAIT!! btw i hope your family is doing well, i think of them daily and hold them inside my heart 😍🥰🥳✨🎈also have you heard this amazing quote by Oprah (Winfrey)

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 11, 2020

2.

Giving my bf an empty ps5 box with a positive pregnancy test inside

— honest jabe (@jaynooch) November 12, 2020

3.

the orphan i adopted sucks at chess fml 🙄

— Still here, but also [email protected] (@LaurenFlans) November 13, 2020

4.

I know my therapist will always be helpful and supportive but I would laugh so hard if one day she was just like seriously bitch? again? we’re talking about this again? there’s people that are dying ellie

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 10, 2020

5.

“I put my thang down flip it and reverse it, it’s your bamlanivimab, it’s your bamlanivimab” https://t.co/lf37M8t3p7

— Robin Thede (@robinthede) November 10, 2020

6.

Yeah, it's true, I lost my virginity to George Clooney. George Clooney Total Landscaping.

— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) November 9, 2020

7.

If you tip $100 at Cold Stone Creamery, the staff has to perform Les Miserables in its entirety.

— Grace Freud (Thomas) (@GraceGThomas) November 11, 2020

8.

If I die and anyone says I passed away “peacefully” it’s a lie. Don’t buy it. I passed away bitching the whole time.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) November 8, 2020

9.

Make sure your vaccine is from Pfizer and not Pfizer Landscaping.

— krupali (@krupali) November 9, 2020

10.

when mom calls: pic.twitter.com/v2dJtwutBh

— shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) November 8, 2020

11.

Me after the election: I’ll never be sad again

Me 15 minutes later: never mind

— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) November 10, 2020

12.

i think society won't be satisfied with BEFORE & AFTER weight loss pictures until there's a woman on the left side & just an empty pile of clothes on the ground on the right side WOW WHAT'S HER SECRET?!

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 10, 2020

13.

alright what book about history and/or airplanes are we getting our dads for christmas

— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) November 10, 2020

14.

Because I’m on diet, I only ate half of a donut and saved the other half for 2 minutes later.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 10, 2020

15.

when your family's pissed you forgot to buy pizza rolls again pic.twitter.com/HuChazuFiZ

— maura quint (@behindyourback) November 10, 2020

16.

one of my odd pleasures is when writers make a character say overly detailed sentences for viewers. Like “let’s have dinner with our kids Joey and Timmy before you head back to Toronto for your 5 day work retreat!”

— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 8, 2020

17.

would way rather have my nudes leaked than my earnest journal entries that say things like “i don’t know what’s next for me… whatever life has in store…”

— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) November 12, 2020

18.

Every day around midnight, I'm shocked to find out it's only 6pm.

— ⁸²⁹✨ (@Shirlveena9) November 11, 2020

19.

I’m about to call my favorite exboyfriend and tell him he’s not married to that lovely lady, I’m suing to have the votes recounted, and actually he and I are still dating.

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) November 10, 2020

20.

it’s not actually a coup unless it comes from the coup d'état region of france, otherwise it’s just a sparkling authoritarian takeover

— rémy anne (@Remy_Anne) November 10, 2020

21.

alex trebek was proof that you can be a kind person who also bullies nerds, 100% legend

— Olivia Craighead (@oliviacraighead) November 8, 2020

22.

I’m not saying my grandparents *worship* me, that would be crazy. I’m just saying they have 8 pics of me around the apartment and only 1 pic of jesus

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 9, 2020

23.

Upped my age limit to 42 on hinge and now these men message me at 6 am “Hello, Blair. How are you? -Tim”

— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) November 11, 2020

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