Happy Holidays everyone! This week is better than the last but no matter what, I could always use a laugh. I am thankful to the funny ladies of Twitter dot com who keep pumping out funny tweets for us to enjoy. If you have some extra time, head over and give them a follow.
1.
Did you have a happy childhood or are you funny?
— 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥 (@Neyogems) November 21, 2020
2.
What is Joe Biden’s plan to stop recipe bloggers from telling a long, unskippable, mostly unrelated childhood memory before sharing the damn recipe?
— Zuri Davis (@ProperlyZuri) November 25, 2020
3.
Me: Wow, a show where they decorate houses for Christmas? They’ll really make a show out of anything.
Cut to me 20 minutes later: SOBBING when they reveal the final decor. I will watch every episode.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) November 21, 2020
4.
damn you really gotta eat every day forever
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) November 23, 2020
5.
if you knew me before my 20s, you never actually knew me. you knew season 1 me. we were severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot.
— Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne) November 22, 2020
6.
I wish I could say “???????” In real life, it would be very useful
— bri (@caringbrats) November 21, 2020
7.
I just got mad at a movie I'm watching because I don't know what's going on in it because I've been playing around on my phone.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) November 23, 2020
8.
I’ve never planned a better party than the one I planned when I was 8 pic.twitter.com/oFr1vaqHSN
— Emily Flake (@EmilyFlake) November 23, 2020
9.
My boyfriend does this completely insane thing where sometimes, when I ask him to take a photo of me, he takes exactly ONE photo
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) November 22, 2020
10.
whenever it gets dark by 4pm in the winter, i feel like telling the sun "i hate seeing you like this–i wish you'd just talk to me"
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 24, 2020
11.
i'm already so annoyed that my grandkids are going to be interviewing me for book reports on the 2020 pandemic expecting me to be profound and i'm gonna have to be like "i spent all the whole thing sending friends tiktok links against their will and eating cake and crying"
— emma lord (@dilemmalord) November 23, 2020
12.
one time a guy I had just started dating was on a podcast where the host asked if he was in a relationship, and after audibly panicking for a minute he said “look, if she died in a plane crash, I would be sad”
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) November 26, 2020
13.
i be writing this research paper w no research just vibes
— annabelle (@babybels22) November 25, 2020
14.
he blocked me on everything so i created a fake barstool page and offered him a position… i’ll see him monday at 9 am
— Gråçë (@garrcie) November 27, 2020
15.
me: no problemo
narrator: but it was all problemo
— lil red (@lilredridingwud) November 23, 2020
16.
Drinking wine is still, even at age 32, about 20% taste 80% heheheh here I am drinking wine like a stressed lady from the movies
— Stevie Martin (@5tevieM) November 25, 2020
17.
babe are you okay? you didn’t say ‘big stretch’ when your cat did a big stretch
— holly (@thisishollymay) November 24, 2020
18.
2016: yay, I voted.
2020: I know what every member of every state’s vote certification committee eats at 3 pm on Tuesdays.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) November 23, 2020
19.
we live in whatever the opposite of a renaissance is pic.twitter.com/JbEmeQOpz6
— dylan gelula (@DylanGelula) November 24, 2020
20.
pride AND prejudice? in this economy??
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 22, 2020
21.
Tell me why my mom thought The Rock’s float was Ruth Bader Ginsburg pic.twitter.com/ckvMo431ud
— caycedilla (@caycemorris) November 26, 2020
22.
who called it Antiques Road Show and not Strangers’ Things
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) November 21, 2020
23.
chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing
— cass (@cassthevirgin) November 22, 2020
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