33 Jokes About Jesus That He’ll Forgive You For Laughing At, Because That’s Kinda His Thing
It’s always seemed strange to me that Catholics get so upset when you make jokes about Jesus. I mean, God seems like kind of a dick but Jesus seems chill. I bet he could take a joke.
The following people feel the same way. They rolled the dice by telling a blasphemous joke, gambling with their immortal soul; which any comedian will tell you is the ultimate rush. Let’s all take a drive to hell together. Jesus, take the wheel.
1.
2.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/646038958330155008
3.
Jesus: this jesus bread is my body
Disciples: *nodding*
Jesus: this jesus wine is my blood.
Disciples: *clapping*
Jesus: this jesus fish is a sweet decal for your bumper
Disciples: *just losing their shit*
— Quilliam (@nyquills) January 17, 2019
4.
http://cutefrosting.tumblr.com/post/180435528436/tilthat-til-that-many-early-texts-described
5.
https://koinohnia.tumblr.com/post/163932900573/3-things-jesus-love-will-never-do
6.
Me: So Christ’s body is the bread?
Priest: yes
Me: and he rose from the grave
Priest: yes…
Me: because of the yeast?
Priest: no
Me: okay, none of this makes sense
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) October 21, 2018
7.
*knock on door*
“Sir have you found Jesus?”
Uh, no. Goodbye.
*shuts door*
*Jesus steps out from behind door with gun*
Good answer— Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD BOFA Economics (@BuckyIsotope) September 10, 2015
8.
9.
[Jesus at Last Supper]
*breaks bread* This is my body
*pours wine* This is my blood
*opens jar of mayo*
Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there— huntigula (@huntigula) January 5, 2015
10.
http://maxiesatanofficial.tumblr.com/post/181178257295/pastel-lavender-shiraglassman-missweber