The following people feel the same way. They rolled the dice by telling a blasphemous joke, gambling with their immortal soul; which any comedian will tell you is the ultimate rush. Let’s all take a drive to hell together. Jesus, take the wheel.
Bartender: I’m cutting you off. only water from now on— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) February 12, 2019
Jesus: [sarcastically] oh no
Big deal Jesus, so your dad sent you here to suffer & die, that's what all the rest of us are doing too— Actually you’re the one who’s dumb and wrong (@InternetHippo) September 21, 2015
Jesus: this jesus bread is my body— Quilliam (@nyquills) January 17, 2019
Jesus: this jesus wine is my blood.
Jesus: this jesus fish is a sweet decal for your bumper
Disciples: *just losing their shit*
Me: So Christ’s body is the bread?— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) October 21, 2018
Me: and he rose from the grave
Me: because of the yeast?
Me: okay, none of this makes sense
*knock on door*— Dr. Pumpkin Spiceotope (@BuckyIsotope) September 10, 2015
“Sir have you found Jesus?”
Uh, no. Goodbye.
*Jesus steps out from behind door with gun*
[Jesus at Last Supper]— HAUNTigula (@huntigula) January 5, 2015
*breaks bread* This is my body
*pours wine* This is my blood
*opens jar of mayo*
Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there