Mr. and Mrs. Brown had one grandfather. They called him Pop-Pop, and he lived in their basement. Everyone else in town called him Almanac. An almanac is a dumb, out-dated book filled with facts and information, arranged randomly, on boring branches of knowledge such as weather patterns and farming. Pop-Pop’s head was like an Almanac….
Step-dads, are the children of your new wife not giving you the respect you deserve? Do your attempts at discipline fall on deaf ears? Are you sick of hearing comments about how you’re “not my real daddy?” If so, then it’s time to show your step-kids who’s the new boss in town with the Step-Daddy…
If you are a young, inquisitive teen boy, then you may have noticed a new fad sweeping the nation known as “rock and roll.” This new type of music is miles away from the calm, pleasant stylings of the Pat Boone records you have at home or the uplifting hymns you enjoy at church. And…
Family portraits have long been a necessity of the nuclear family. How else, after all, are parents supposed to deceive friends and loved ones into thinking their households are filled with love, devoid of dysfunction, and occupied by people who actually want to spend time with each other? But plan a family photo incorrectly, and…
From the terrible twos and puberty all the way up to teen angst and the dreaded goth phase, raising kids sometimes seems like 18 years of hard labor. Putting up with all those temper tantrums and snotty comments can be difficult, but when it all comes down it, we all know being a parent is…
Attention U.S. Government, This letter is to inform you that I have decided to secede from the union. To be frank, I have not been happy with the way this country has been run over the last few years, and as the old saying goes, “If you want things done right you’ve got to do…
Aren’t neighbors just the worst? Always waving hello when you’re walking the dog. Or offering to pick up your mail for you when you’re out of town. Geez, HOW ANNOYING!! If you’ve ever dreamt of getting away from all that “friendly hospitality,” then chances are you’ve fantasized about living at the bottom of the sea….
Are you a female high school student looking to join the boys-only soccer team? Or maybe you’re interested in studying the Talmud at an Orthodox yeshiva, but your name is Barbra Streisand. Did your country or planet go to war and you’re miffed you can’t fight alongside all those muscle-bound men on account of that…
Yo Gran, Thanks so much for the shark tooth necklace!! You are the dopest! Ever since that plastic ruby fell out of the eye of my skull-and-cross-bones necklace, I’ve been on the prowl for an even edgier replacement! And Gran, you hit the nail RIGHT ON THE HEAD with this one! I mean, this piece…
Dear Michael Ian Black, I owe you money. This past Thursday I accompanied my wife to an open-air mall with the intended goal of purchasing an animal-print pantsuit (preferably panda). Rather than saunter from one women’s clothing store to another, I instead chose to mosey on down to the Borders Book Store to peruse your…
Local marketing intern, Dan Cheaver beat out numerous competitors this past Wednesday to become the first person to post a comment to celebrity actor Zach Braff’s January, 14 MySpace blog entry. The feat was accomplished at 7:13 p.m., a mere one minute after Zach posted his latest update, titled “Check Out This Awesome Band I…
Hi, we’re Pleated-Jeans, and we’ve been making the Internet laugh since 2008 — or “2000-late,” as the kids said back then. Everything you see in the Original Content category of this website was made from scratch, using only biodegradable ingredients (meaning our hands and brains.) Everything else on the site, from funny memes to random…